You have arranged a meeting with a business partner. Unfortunately, you have to change the arrangement. Write a letter to your business partner. In your letter: - apologise for the changes - explain the reason - why the changes were needed - explain the new arrangement
Sample Response
Dear Martin,
I hope this letter finds you in good health and spirit. I am writing this letter to offer you a formal apology since I will have to postpone the upcoming business meeting between us which is set for 14th of March. I know that the news of this meeting deferment would probably upset you a little but once I explain the situation to you, you would understand as to why I exactly need to postpone this important business meeting.
On 14th March, the day when we were supposed to have the meeting, my young nephew is going to play for his high school team for the first time in an inter-district soccer tournament match, and I have been asked by my beloved nephew to watch the game live from the stadium. Besides, I also did not want to miss the special moment since it was I who initially taught him how to play soccer.
So, now that you know the reason behind the postponement of the meeting, could we please perhaps hold the meeting a day later on the 15th of March so that I could enjoy some special family time with my nephew?
I hope to meet you soon. Yours truly,
Milan
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural greeting Original: in good health and spirit Suggested revision: well Why it matters: This is a more natural greeting in a business letter.
- 2. Simplify apology Original: this letter to offer you a formal apology Suggested revision: to apologise Why it matters: The original is wordy and sounds heavier than necessary.
- 3. Clearer cause Original: since I will have to postpone Suggested revision: because I need to postpone Why it matters: Because is clearer for giving the reason for writing.
- 4. Date form Original: which is set for 14th of March Suggested revision: which is set for 14 March Why it matters: The date expression should not include of here.
- 5. Unnatural noun Original: meeting deferment Suggested revision: postponement of the meeting Why it matters: This is the natural noun phrase for changing a meeting date.
- 6. Business tone Original: would probably upset you a little Suggested revision: may inconvenience you Why it matters: This sounds more professional and less personal.
- 7. Wordy clause Original: you would understand as to why Suggested revision: you will understand why Why it matters: The phrase as to why is wordy, and will fits the expected response.
- 8. Word order Original: I exactly need Suggested revision: I need exactly Why it matters: Exactly is misplaced in the original clause.
- 9. Avoid repetition Original: this important business meeting Suggested revision: it Why it matters: The meeting has already been identified, so repeating the full phrase is heavy.
- 10. Cleaner date Original: On 14th March Suggested revision: On 14 March Why it matters: This is a cleaner date style for formal writing.
- 11. Concise clause Original: the day when we were supposed to have the meeting Suggested revision: when we were due to meet Why it matters: The shorter clause is more natural and easier to read.
- 12. Relevant detail Original: my young nephew Suggested revision: my nephew Why it matters: Young is not necessary for explaining the scheduling conflict.
Suggested Rewrites
- in good health and spirit well
- this letter to offer you a formal apology to apologise
- since I will have to postpone because I need to postpone
- which is set for 14th of March which is set for 14 March
- meeting deferment postponement of the meeting
- would probably upset you a little may inconvenience you
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter addresses all four bullets: it apologises, gives a reason, explains why the change is needed, and proposes 15 March. Task achievement is limited because the business impact is not considered and the new arrangement lacks time, place, and flexibility.
Keep the apology and reason, but add a concise business-focused explanation and a complete alternative arrangement with date, time, venue, and an option for Martin to suggest another time.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organised into clear paragraphs, but cohesion is weakened by long sentences, repeated references to the meeting, and informal transitions in the final request.
Shorten the opening explanation, replace repeated noun phrases with pronouns, and move smoothly from apology to reason to the new arrangement.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is mostly sufficient for the message, but several expressions are unnatural, overly formal, or too personal for a business partner, including meeting deferment and beloved nephew.
Use natural business-letter vocabulary such as reschedule, inconvenience, attend a family event, and meet at the same time and place.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally understandable, but there are repeated problems with date forms, modal choices, word order, and overlong sentence control.
Edit the longer sentences for correct word order and tense, especially around the apology and the explanation of the reason.