You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: - explain your situation - describe your problems - tell him/her when you think you can move in
Sample Response
Dear Mr Alfred, I am writing to inform you that I would not be able to move into your apartment, C-4, at the beginning of November as promised. Due to a professional reason, I am staying in Australia and will not be back before 28th November 2019. I am hoping that you would allow me to move into your apartment at the beginning of December instead. I was expecting to finish my work at the end of this weekend. However, I would not act according to my plan as one of my clients had an accident and was admitted to a hospital. Doctors advised him complete bed rest for two weeks and strictly warned him not to take part in any business activity. I would only meet him after two weeks from now, I wanted to skip the meeting but was unable to do so due to numerous business works we take from this party. Therefore, I have changed my plan and will come back two weeks later than originally decided, which is 29th November. Considering the situation, I would request you to allow me to move into your apartment in the first week of December. Yours faithfully, Fahad Sultan
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Separate greeting Original: Dear Mr Alfred, I am Suggested revision: Dear Mr Alfred, I am Why it matters: The salutation should be separated from the opening sentence.
- 2. Modal tense Original: I would not be able Suggested revision: I will not be able Why it matters: Use will for a definite future inability.
- 3. Natural reason Original: Due to a professional reason Suggested revision: Due to a work commitment Why it matters: This is a clearer and more natural phrase.
- 4. Future arrangement Original: I am staying in Australia Suggested revision: I will be staying in Australia Why it matters: The context refers to the period when the move was planned.
- 5. Modal choice Original: I am hoping that you would Suggested revision: I hope that you will Why it matters: Use hope with will for a future request.
- 6. Specific timing Original: at the beginning of December instead Suggested revision: in the first week of December instead Why it matters: This aligns better with the later requested move-in time.
- 7. Awkward construction Original: I would not act according to my plan Suggested revision: I could not follow my plan Why it matters: The current phrase is unnatural.
- 8. Natural phrase Original: admitted to a hospital Suggested revision: admitted to hospital Why it matters: This is more natural in British English.
- 9. Missing preposition Original: advised him complete bed rest Suggested revision: advised him to take complete bed rest Why it matters: The verb advise needs an object plus to-infinitive here.
- 10. Natural activity Original: warned him not to take part Suggested revision: warned him not to engage Why it matters: Engage is more natural with business activity.
- 11. Future meaning Original: I would only meet him Suggested revision: I can only meet him Why it matters: Would is not appropriate for this present constraint.
- 12. Natural timing Original: after two weeks from now Suggested revision: two weeks from now Why it matters: After is unnecessary here.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Mr Alfred, I am Dear Mr Alfred, I am
- I would not be able I will not be able
- Due to a professional reason Due to a work commitment
- I am staying in Australia I will be staying in Australia
- I am hoping that you would I hope that you will
- at the beginning of December instead in the first week of December instead
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter explains the delayed move, describes the work-related problem, and gives a new move-in time. Some explanation is overlong for the landlord.
State the reason briefly and give the exact requested move-in week.
Coherence and Cohesion
The order is mostly logical, but the whole letter is one dense paragraph and contains a comma splice.
Use paragraphs for the delay, reason, and request.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for a formal request, but several collocations are unnatural.
Use phrases such as “for professional reasons” and “business dealings”.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is clear, but recurring errors with modals, articles, infinitives, and sentence boundaries reduce accuracy.
Review “will/would”, infinitives after “advise”, and punctuation between clauses.