You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter: - describe the problem with the equipment - explain what happened - when you phoned the shop - say what you would like the manager to do
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with a blender machine that I purchased from your store and the poor customer service I received afterwards. I am hoping you would replace the faulty product, and improve your customer service as well. Last week, I purchased a ‘White Line’ blender from your store from your Madison Avenue store. After I brought it home and tried to make a smoothie in it, the blades got clogged and have not been functioning properly since then even after I cleaned it properly. In shock and awe, I called the customer service, but I was told by the salesperson that she could do nothing about it as she is not responsible for any problems that may arise after taking the product home. Since this purchase had cost me a small fortune, I have been inordinately stressed about the situation. My intention in writing this letter is to request you to replace this broken blender of mine with a new one as I have a three-year warranty on this blender. Further, I expect you to issue a show-cause notice to your salesperson about her coarse demeanour towards me. I anticipate prompt remedial action from your side. Yours faithfully,
Sam Adams
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Separate greeting Original: Dear Sir or Madam, I am Suggested revision: Dear Sir or Madam, I am Why it matters: The formal salutation should be separated from the first sentence.
- 2. Modal choice Original: I am hoping you would Suggested revision: I hope you will Why it matters: Use hope with will for a future request.
- 3. Parallel request Original: and improve your customer service as well Suggested revision: and that you will improve your customer service as well Why it matters: The second request needs a clearer parallel structure.
- 4. Add date if possible Original: Last week, I purchased Suggested revision: On 12 May, I purchased Why it matters: A complaint letter is stronger with a specific purchase date.
- 5. Remove repetition Original: from your store from your Madison Avenue store Suggested revision: from your Madison Avenue store Why it matters: The phrase repeats from your store.
- 6. Clear sequence Original: After I brought it home Suggested revision: When I brought it home Why it matters: This makes the sequence more direct.
- 7. Precise wording Original: the blades got clogged Suggested revision: the blades jammed Why it matters: Jammed is more precise for blender blades.
- 8. Pronoun agreement Original: even after I cleaned it properly Suggested revision: even after I cleaned them properly Why it matters: Them should refer to the blades.
- 9. Wrong idiom Original: In shock and awe Suggested revision: Feeling shocked Why it matters: In shock and awe is inappropriate for this complaint context.
- 10. Natural noun Original: the customer service Suggested revision: customer service Why it matters: The article is unnecessary when referring to the department generally.
- 11. Report clearly Original: she could do nothing about it Suggested revision: the shop could do nothing about it Why it matters: The salesperson represents the shop in this complaint.
- 12. Backshift tense Original: she is not responsible Suggested revision: she was not responsible Why it matters: Reported speech normally uses past tense here.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Sir or Madam, I am Dear Sir or Madam, I am
- I am hoping you would I hope you will
- and improve your customer service as well and that you will improve your customer service as well
- Last week, I purchased On 12 May, I purchased
- from your store from your Madison Avenue store from your Madison Avenue store
- After I brought it home When I brought it home
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The complaint explains the faulty blender, poor service, and requested replacement. However, it does not clearly say when the shop was phoned.
Add the exact phone-call timing, such as “I called your shop the same afternoon”.
Coherence and Cohesion
The complaint structure is logical, but paragraphing and repeated wording reduce polish.
Use paragraphs for purchase/problem, phone call, and requested action.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is fairly strong, but some phrases are overdramatic or unnatural for a consumer complaint.
Prefer precise formal wording over phrases such as “in shock and awe”.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally clear, with errors in repetition, pronoun agreement, and punctuation.
Check repeated phrases and agreement with plural nouns like “blades”.