You recently took a part-time job working for a local company. After a few weeks, you realised there were some problems with the job. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter: - explain why you took the job - describe the problems that you experienced - suggest what could be done about them
Sample Response
Dear Mr Lim, I have been working with your company for almost five weeks as a part-time call centre agent. I am writing this letter to raise my concerns regarding some of the problems that I encountered during my work at your company. I am expecting that you would take measures to resolve them. I took the job as I believed it would enhance my communication and public speaking skills and increase my confidence in socialising with other people in an addendum to supporting my studies. During the first week, everything went fine. But from my second week, I started facing some unavoidable issues. My computer automatically shuts down and it interrupts my communication with customers. It happened almost every day. After I raised the problem to the technician in charge, he tried to fix it but without success. What I hate most is that the guy is blaming me for not using the computer properly! In addition, I was supposed to be picked up and dropped off every office day, but this is not happening. I am confident enough that the computer problem is not at all my fault, and happens due to the use of pirated software. I am concerned because my overall performance has already been affected by it. It would be easier if a new computer is provided to me or made sure the fix is done properly. Also please try to arrange my transportation, at least to drop me off at the end of the office. I am hoping for your immediate response on this matter. Respectfully yours, Christine Hazel
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Greeting break Original: Dear Mr Lim, Suggested revision: Dear Mr Lim, Why it matters: The greeting should be separated from the body of the letter.
- 2. Preposition choice Original: working with your company Suggested revision: working for your company Why it matters: Work for a company is the usual employment phrase.
- 3. Concise phrase Original: raise my concerns regarding Suggested revision: raise concerns about Why it matters: This is more concise and natural.
- 4. Current relevance Original: I encountered during my work Suggested revision: I have encountered at work Why it matters: Present perfect fits problems that are still relevant.
- 5. Request form Original: I am expecting that you would Suggested revision: I hope that you will Why it matters: This is a more natural and polite request form.
- 6. Specific action Original: take measures to resolve them Suggested revision: arrange practical solutions for these problems Why it matters: The manager needs clearer requested action.
- 7. Wrong phrase Original: in an addendum to supporting my studies Suggested revision: in addition to supporting my studies Why it matters: Addendum is not used with this meaning.
- 8. Formal connector Original: But from my second week Suggested revision: However, from my second week Why it matters: However is smoother in a formal complaint letter.
- 9. Natural noun Original: some unavoidable issues Suggested revision: some serious issues Why it matters: Unavoidable does not clearly describe workplace problems.
- 10. Ongoing problem Original: automatically shuts down Suggested revision: has been shutting down automatically Why it matters: Use present perfect continuous for a repeated recent problem.
- 11. Repeated effect Original: it interrupts my communication Suggested revision: it has interrupted my communication Why it matters: Present perfect links the repeated problem to current performance.
- 12. Current problem Original: It happened almost every day Suggested revision: This has happened almost every day Why it matters: The problem is continuing, so present perfect is better.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Mr Lim, Dear Mr Lim,
- working with your company working for your company
- raise my concerns regarding raise concerns about
- I encountered during my work I have encountered at work
- I am expecting that you would I hope that you will
- take measures to resolve them arrange practical solutions for these problems
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter explains why the job was taken, describes two workplace problems, and asks for a replacement computer and transport support. It is relevant and complete, but the complaint about blame and software is too emotional and should be more carefully framed.
Keep the two main problems, but make the requested actions specific and phrase accusations about the technician and software in a professional, evidence-based way.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a logical sequence from background to problems to solutions, but it is presented as one dense paragraph with no visual separation between the task bullets.
Use separate paragraphs for the job background, computer problem, transport problem, and requested solutions.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally adequate for a complaint letter, but some choices are inaccurate, informal, or unnatural, such as addendum, guy, every office day, and pirated software.
Replace informal or inaccurate wording with professional workplace vocabulary such as in addition to, technician, every working day, and unlicensed software.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The meaning remains clear, but tense consistency, articles, conditional forms, and parallel structure need work, especially in the problem and solution sentences.
Use present perfect for ongoing problems and make each request sentence grammatically complete with a clear subject and verb.