Your friend has a travel company and would like you to come and work with him. Write a letter replying to your friend's offer. In your letter: - explain what you know about your friend's company - choose whether you accept or decline the offer - give reasons for your choice
Sample Response
Dear Hans, It was a pleasant surprise to receive your letter last Monday. I must confess I have not been in touch as frequently as I should have but you have never been away from my thought. I was thrilled to learn that your travel company is thriving gradually. I wish you every success in the coming days. It was an honour that you have offered me a position in your company. However, I regret to turn down the offer as I have recently started working in a bank as a junior officer. This is a dream job for me and I am so happy to have been recruited there. I wish I could have joined your company and work closely with you! It was a startup company last year and now it already has a second branch. I am so happy for you and I am sure you will excel in your business very rapidly. Please convey my best wishes to Maria and your children. Why don't you visit us sometime and have fun like in the old days? Stay fine and take care. Warm wishes, Friedrich
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Separate greeting Original: Dear Hans, It was Suggested revision: Dear Hans, It was Why it matters: The salutation and first sentence should not run together.
- 2. Simpler tone Original: I must confess Suggested revision: I know Why it matters: This phrase is a little dramatic for a friendly update.
- 3. More idiomatic Original: as frequently as Suggested revision: as often as Why it matters: This is a more natural collocation in this context.
- 4. Plural noun Original: away from my thought Suggested revision: out of my thoughts Why it matters: Thought should be plural in this expression.
- 5. Natural collocation Original: thriving gradually Suggested revision: growing steadily Why it matters: Thriving and gradually do not combine smoothly.
- 6. Idiomatic phrase Original: coming days Suggested revision: the days ahead Why it matters: This sounds more natural for a good-wishes sentence.
- 7. Sentence pattern Original: It was an honour that Suggested revision: It was an honour for me that Why it matters: The current pattern is incomplete before the clause.
- 8. Tense choice Original: you have offered me Suggested revision: you offered me Why it matters: The offer is a completed past action in this sentence.
- 9. Natural refusal Original: I regret to turn down Suggested revision: I regret that I must turn down Why it matters: This is smoother for politely declining.
- 10. Clearer reason Original: as I have recently started Suggested revision: because I have recently started Why it matters: Because gives a clearer reason than as here.
- 11. Natural phrase Original: recruited there Suggested revision: hired there Why it matters: Recruited there sounds slightly awkward.
- 12. Parallel verbs Original: could have joined your company and work Suggested revision: could have joined your company and worked Why it matters: The two verbs should be parallel after could have.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Hans, It was Dear Hans, It was
- I must confess I know
- as frequently as as often as
- away from my thought out of my thoughts
- thriving gradually growing steadily
- coming days the days ahead
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The reply acknowledges the company, declines the offer, and gives a believable reason. The informal tone suits a friend.
Mention the company details earlier before the decision.
Coherence and Cohesion
The message is coherent, but paragraph breaks would make the stages of the reply clearer.
Group greeting, company knowledge, decision and reason, and friendly closing separately.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and mostly natural, with a few awkward collocations.
Use idiomatic phrases such as “thoughts” and “growing steadily”.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally accurate, though there are occasional errors in noun number, tense, and parallel verb forms.
Check plural nouns after possessives and verb forms after modals.