The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.
Sample Response
The given map shows two possible locations for the planned supermarket in Garsdon City. As is presented in the illustration, the city has a population of more than 65 thousand and the two possible locations for the supermarket are near Hindon area and in the middle of the industrial area.
Overall, the first location (S1) would be both away from the town centre and out of the crowd, which would be more convenient for the citizens of Hindson area, while the second location (S2) would be advantageous for the people of Bransdon and Cransdon area. According to the map, the railway surrounds the city and intersects the city almost in the middle. There are main roads for transportation and countryside surrounds the main housings and industries of the city. The housing of the city is mainly in the North and South sides of the city and the town centre is in the middle of the industrial area. The first possible location for the planned supermarket is near the Hindon area where almost ten thousand inhabitants live and the location is in the north-west corner. This location would be ideal for the Hindon people for shopping but the people of Crandon and Brandon, which have great more population, would be far away from this supermarket. The second possible location which is almost in the centre of the city would be surrounded by industrial zones and housings in the North and South sides of the city. This would be an ideal place as it would connect all the shoppers in the three parts of the city. Since the railway passes near this location, this would be a better place in terms of communication as well.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Place name Garlsdon
- 2. Place name Hindon
- 3. Map accuracy railway runs through the city
- 4. More precise passes close to the town centre and S2
- 5. Uncountable noun main housing areas
- 6. Map feature town centre is surrounded by the built-up area
- 7. Place names Cransdon and Bransdon
- 8. Comparison form much larger populations
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response describes both sites and the surrounding settlements, but it over-interprets convenience and makes some visual inaccuracies, especially saying the railway surrounds the city. It should focus more on S1 being outside the town/countryside and S2 being in the town centre/no traffic zone.
Revise by comparing access: S1 is northwest near Hindon and the railway, while S2 is central in the no-traffic town centre and closer to Garlsdon residents.
Coherence and Cohesion
The answer has paragraphs and a generally logical map description, although some information is repeated and the evaluative comments are not always tied to map evidence.
Keep one overview and group details by site rather than moving between roads, housing, and nearby towns repeatedly.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for map description, but several names are misspelled and phrases such as 'great more population' and 'housings' are unnatural.
Use exact place names from the map: Garlsdon, Hindon, Bransdon, and Cransdon; use 'housing areas' instead of 'housings'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally clear, but there are article errors, awkward relative clauses, and several long sentences with overloaded comparisons.
Shorten sentences and use direct comparisons: 'S1 is closer to Hindon, whereas S2 is more central for Garlsdon residents'.