Some people believe that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school, while others think it is better to start at secondary school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In my subjective opinion the best way of introduction language in Kids`s lives it's start to learn it at primary school. In this situation they will get early exposure to a language and it's can impove their perception this world. Let's to analys why prefer this position. On the one hand, they will more advanced, if will start in that age, esspecially in that factor they have another type of thinking. Also, for them it will be more interesting instead for the adults. The no less important moment it that they will got a simple way getting fluency,because they will acquire a language. On the other hand, Kids' parents can be disappontning about hard workload for their children. The primary school it's a crisis period for this age, they already learn a lot of hings like drawing, numbers, logical momets and other exaplems, so it can be hard to them. In conclution, we have the differents situations about neccesity of learning English or another language for little kids. Like I said before, I`m follow my position about including languages like important part of program and growing. It's can be some hard, but when they will take it like game then hard work.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Redundant phrase Original: In my subjective opinion Suggested revision: In my opinion Why it matters: 'Subjective opinion' is redundant because all opinions are subjective. 'In my opinion' is cleaner and more academic.
- 2. Gerund phrase Original: introduction language Suggested revision: introducing a language Why it matters: Use the gerund form 'introducing' followed by the noun phrase 'a language' to make this grammatically correct.
- 3. Incorrect apostrophe Original: Kids`s Suggested revision: children's Why it matters: Avoid using backticks (`) for apostrophes. Also, 'children' is a more appropriate academic term than 'kids'.
- 4. Verb structure Original: it's start to learn it Suggested revision: is to start learning it Why it matters: The construction 'it's start' is grammatically incorrect. Use 'is to start' to link the subject to the infinitive phrase.
- 5. Double verb error Original: it's can impove Suggested revision: it can improve Why it matters: Do not combine 'is' (in 'it's') with the modal verb 'can'. Also, 'improve' was misspelled.
- 6. Missing preposition Original: perception this world Suggested revision: perception of the world Why it matters: The noun 'perception' requires the preposition 'of' before the object.
- 7. Too informal Original: Let's to analys why prefer this position. Suggested revision: This essay will analyze the reasons for this view. Why it matters: Phrases like 'Let's' are too conversational for an IELTS essay. Use formal academic signposting instead.
- 8. Missing auxiliary verb Original: they will more advanced Suggested revision: they will be more advanced Why it matters: The future tense requires the auxiliary verb 'be' before an adjective like 'advanced'.
- 9. Missing subject Original: if will start in that age Suggested revision: if they start at an early age Why it matters: Conditional clauses need a subject ('they') and the correct preposition ('at' an age).
- 10. Spelling error Original: esspecially Suggested revision: especially Why it matters: The word 'especially' is misspelled with a double 's'.
- 11. Incorrect comparison Original: instead for the adults Suggested revision: than for adults Why it matters: When comparing interest levels, use 'more interesting... than' instead of 'instead for'.
- 12. Awkward transition Original: The no less important moment it that Suggested revision: Another important point is that Why it matters: This phrase is a literal translation and sounds unnatural in English. Use standard transition phrases.
Suggested Rewrites
- In my subjective opinion In my opinion
- introduction language introducing a language
- Kids`s children's
- it's start to learn it is to start learning it
- it's can impove it can improve
- perception this world perception of the world
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay addresses both parts of the prompt (starting in primary vs. secondary school) and expresses a personal opinion. However, the ideas are extremely underdeveloped, and the essay is significantly under-length at only 205 words (well below the 250-word minimum). This severely limits the score.
To improve, you must expand your arguments with more detailed explanations and specific examples. Aim to write at least 260-280 words to fully develop your points and avoid penalties for length.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a basic paragraph structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, cohesive devices are sometimes used inaccurately or too informally (e.g., 'Let's to analys', 'The no less important moment').
Use more formal academic transition signals (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In addition', 'On the other hand') and ensure your paragraphs flow logically from one idea to the next.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is limited and contains frequent spelling and word-form errors (e.g., 'esspecially', 'disappontning', 'hings', 'exaplems', 'conclution', 'neccesity'). These errors occasionally obscure meaning.
Focus on learning the correct spelling of common academic words. Try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to education, such as 'cognitive development', 'curriculum', and 'linguistic skills'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is a major weak point. There are frequent errors in verb tenses, sentence structure, modal verbs ('it's can impove'), and prepositions. Many sentences are fragmented or translated literally from another language.
Review basic sentence structures, particularly the use of modal verbs (can/will + base verb) and conditional clauses ('if they start' instead of 'if will start').