Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Correction

In many countries, students take a year gap after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

Sample Response

Taking a gap year off between high school and the university has become a popular choice for many students. There are a number of common ways they utilise this time; such as travelling abroad, volunteering or working. I personally believe that this kind of experience should be recommended to students more actively since they can offer youngsters several benefits.

Spending time outside of school indicates that students can encounter opportunities to interact with people who they are not used to communicating with. Foreigners they meet while travelling overseas or colleagues from volunteering and work enable them to develop exceptional social skills to talk to others with cultural, racial or age differences. Such experiences can subsequently motivate them to be a more confident and outgoing person, which is believed to help them establish a solid social network.

Another distinctive advantage that a gap year break can give to students is a time to try out different types of practical work. Many teenagers graduate from high school without having clear occupational plans. However, participating in work experience programs or working part-time before starting university can broaden their perspectives on career choices. An exemplary case can be illustrated by looking at my sister, who spent six months teaching English in Cambodia during her gap year. While she was looking after the disadvantaged local kids, she developed a desire to work for international charity organisations and she enrolled in an international studies degree. In conclusion, I am convinced that the society should encourage more high school graduates because the process of establishing social skills and trials on different jobs can provide them with invaluable life experiences.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Natural phrase Original: Taking a gap year off Suggested revision: Taking a gap year Why it matters: Take a gap year is the standard collocation; off is unnecessary.
  • 2. Article choice Original: the university Suggested revision: university Why it matters: Use university without the article when speaking generally about attending university.
  • 3. Semicolon error Original: time; such as Suggested revision: time, such as Why it matters: A semicolon should not introduce examples after such as.
  • 4. Natural order Original: recommended to students more actively Suggested revision: more actively recommended to students Why it matters: The adverb placement is smoother in this passive structure.
  • 5. Pronoun reference Original: they can offer youngsters Suggested revision: it can offer young people Why it matters: This kind of experience is singular, so the pronoun should be it.
  • 6. Meaning choice Original: Spending time outside of school indicates that Suggested revision: Spending time outside school means that Why it matters: Indicates that suggests evidence; means that better introduces the result.
  • 7. Cleaner clause Original: people who they are not used to communicating with Suggested revision: people with whom they are not used to communicating Why it matters: This version is grammatically cleaner and avoids the informal final preposition.
  • 8. Missing article Original: Foreigners they meet Suggested revision: The foreigners they meet Why it matters: A determiner is needed before this specific plural noun phrase.
  • 9. Natural phrasing Original: with cultural, racial or age differences Suggested revision: from different cultures, races, or age groups Why it matters: The replacement expresses the idea more naturally.
  • 10. Number agreement Original: motivate them to be a more confident and outgoing person Suggested revision: motivate them to become more confident and outgoing people Why it matters: Them refers to students, so the complement should be plural.
  • 11. Redundant wording Original: gap year break Suggested revision: gap year Why it matters: Gap year already means a break from study.
  • 12. Article use Original: a time to try out Suggested revision: time to try out Why it matters: Time is used uncountably in this phrase.

Suggested Rewrites

  • Taking a gap year off Taking a gap year
  • the university university
  • time; such as time, such as
  • recommended to students more actively more actively recommended to students
  • they can offer youngsters it can offer young people
  • Spending time outside of school indicates that Spending time outside school means that
Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.

TR

Task Response

6.5
Feedback

The essay gives a clear positive answer and develops two relevant benefits of a gap year: social confidence and career exploration. The main limitation is that the question asks for both advantages and disadvantages, but no real disadvantage is developed, so the response is only partly balanced.

Next step

Add one separate paragraph explaining a drawback such as delayed academic momentum, financial pressure, or wasting the year without a clear plan, then weigh that risk against the benefits in the conclusion.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Feedback

The essay is logically organised into an introduction and two benefit paragraphs, and progression is generally easy to follow. Cohesion is weakened by a missing disadvantage paragraph, some overloaded sentence links, and a conclusion that is attached to the second body paragraph.

Next step

Use a four-paragraph structure: introduction, advantage paragraph, disadvantage paragraph, and a separate balanced conclusion.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Feedback

Vocabulary is flexible and topic-related, with useful phrases about volunteering, social networks, career choices, and charity organisations. Several collocations are unnatural, including gap year off, gap year break, and trials on different jobs.

Next step

Replace unnatural collocations with standard IELTS-style phrasing such as take a gap year, gain work experience, explore career options, and try different jobs.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0
Feedback

There is a good range of complex structures, and the message is clear throughout. Errors in articles, pronoun reference, punctuation, and number agreement are noticeable but usually do not stop understanding.

Next step

Check each long sentence for article use, singular/plural agreement, and pronoun reference before finalising the essay.