In many countries, students take a year gap after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?
Sample Response
Some people are in favour of students taking a gap year before university, while others believe such a break in education is disruptive. I believe that while there are arguments in favour of both views, that students benefit more from continuing their education straight from secondary to tertiary level. On one side of the argument, a gap year provides opportunities for work experience, personal development and a period of relaxation away from the stresses of full-time education. High-school students are subjected to enormous pressure to achieve high grades, particularly in Asia, meaning that leisure time is practically non-existent and young people have little chance to indulge in hobbies or recreational activities After-school classes, summer schools and exam preparation courses also prevent many high-school students from engaging in sports which can develop teamwork and leadership skills, or from travel which allows them to gain cultural awareness and to develop as individuals. A gap year would provide just such opportunities. Furthermore, work experience either in paid employment or in a voluntary capacity would give students practical skills, a sound work ethic and an appreciation of the value of money they have earned themselves. Such experiences help students to become more rounded individuals, enhance their CVs when they apply for scholarships or work after graduation and provide employers with valuable insight into an individual’s aptitude, personality and ambitions. On the other side of the argument, many students returning from a break in academic study find it very difficult to adjust to university life, give up their ideas of a higher education altogether, or waste their gap year in worthless activities. Starting a university course after a year’s break is difficult. Gap-year students are a year behind their high-school friends and have forgotten many of the lessons learned in school, or indeed, how to study at all. Many also miss the income from unskilled gap-year jobs and decide that they would rather have money now than wait for a better salary later, prompting some to abandon their scholarly ambitions altogether. In the Philippines, for example, some students are enticed into non-skilled jobs with attractive salaries, forgetting that what they can earn after graduation will, in the long run, provide far better financial security. There are also many high school students who start a gap-year with good intentions, but fail to find work or a worthwhile activity and end up wasting their time – something they find hard to explain to future employers. In conclusion, while some students may profit from taking a gap year, I am convinced that for the majority of students a year’s break is detrimental to both their educational progress and their final careers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Unneeded that Original: that students benefit more Suggested revision: students benefit more Why it matters: After I believe that while, this extra that makes the clause awkward.
- 2. Missing sentence break Original: recreational activities After-school classes Suggested revision: recreational activities. After-school classes Why it matters: A full stop is needed between the two sentences.
- 3. Article use Original: start a gap-year Suggested revision: start a gap year Why it matters: Gap year is normally written without a hyphen when used as a noun phrase after an article.
- 4. Specific reference Original: future employers Suggested revision: their future employers Why it matters: Adding their makes the reference more specific and natural.
- 5. Precise wording Original: full-time education Suggested revision: formal education Why it matters: Formal education better describes school and university study here.
- 6. Comma before which Original: or from travel which allows them Suggested revision: or from travel, which allows them Why it matters: Add a comma before a non-defining which clause.
- 7. Clear reference Original: just such opportunities Suggested revision: these opportunities Why it matters: These opportunities is clearer and less old-fashioned.
- 8. Comma after opener Original: work experience either in paid employment Suggested revision: work experience, either in paid employment Why it matters: The either phrase interrupts the noun phrase and should be marked with a comma.
- 9. Simpler phrase Original: in a voluntary capacity Suggested revision: through volunteering Why it matters: This is more direct and natural.
- 10. Parallel phrasing Original: apply for scholarships or work Suggested revision: apply for scholarships or jobs Why it matters: Scholarships and jobs are parallel nouns; work is less precise here.
- 11. Concise signpost Original: On the other side of the argument Suggested revision: On the other hand Why it matters: A shorter signpost improves flow in a long paragraph.
- 12. Natural phrase Original: ideas of a higher education Suggested revision: plans for higher education Why it matters: Plans is more precise than ideas in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- that students benefit more students benefit more
- recreational activities After-school classes recreational activities. After-school classes
- start a gap-year start a gap year
- future employers their future employers
- full-time education formal education
- or from travel which allows them or from travel, which allows them
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response answers the question clearly, explaining advantages such as work experience, personal development, relaxation, and travel, and disadvantages such as disrupted study habits, lost motivation, and wasted time. The position against gap years for most students is clear and supported.
Make the answer to Should students take a gap year even more explicit in the introduction and conclusion, while preserving the balanced discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically, but the entire essay is presented as one large paragraph. Within that paragraph, sequencing is clear, yet the lack of paragraph breaks significantly reduces readability and formal essay organization.
Divide the essay into separate introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and appropriate, with strong phrases such as personal development, cultural awareness, work ethic, scholarly ambitions, and financial security. Some punctuation and hyphenation issues remain, but word choice is generally strong.
Maintain the range while checking punctuation around long noun phrases and compound modifiers such as high-school and gap-year.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay shows good grammatical range with complex clauses and mostly accurate sentence structures. A few long sentences need punctuation control, and there are occasional article or wording issues.
Proofread long sentences for missing punctuation and ensure each clause is clearly connected.