Governments should spend more money on public transportation rather than building new roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay Correction
Student Essay
Governments should spend more money on public transportation rather than building new roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that governments should spend more money on public transportation instead of building new roads. I partly agree with this opinion because public transport is important, but new roads are also necessary.
On the one hand, investing in public transportation has many benefits. First, it can reduce traffic jams because more people will choose buses or trains instead of driving their own cars. As a result, the roads will be less crowded. Second, public transportation is better for the environment. It can reduce air pollution and save energy. For example, one bus can carry many passengers at the same time, so fewer cars are needed.
On the other hand, governments should not stop building new roads. In some cities, the population is growing quickly, and the old roads are not enough. New roads can improve traffic and make travelling easier. In addition, some rural areas do not have good roads. Building new roads can help people travel, transport goods, and support local businesses.
In conclusion, I believe governments should spend more money on public transportation because it is good for both people and the environment. However, they should also build new roads when they are really needed.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Repetitive phrasing allocate more funding to public transit systems rather than expanding road networks
- 2. Informal vocabulary traffic congestion
- 3. Increase complexity First, prioritizing public transit can significantly alleviate traffic congestion, as commuters are encouraged to opt for buses or trains over personal vehicles.
- 4. Deepen development On the one hand, investing in public transportation has many benefits. First, it can reduce traffic jams because more people will choose buses or trains instead of driving their own cars. As a result, the roads will be less crowded, which also reduces commuting times and stress for workers. Second, public transportation is better for the environment. It can reduce air pollution and save energy. For example, one bus can carry many passengers at the same time, so fewer cars are needed, leading to a significant reduction in carbon emissions.
- 5. Vocabulary Variety Work on building a bank of synonyms for common IELTS topics like transport, environment, and government spending.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The candidate addresses all parts of the prompt with a clear, balanced position. Main ideas are relevant and supported with simple examples.
To achieve a higher score, develop the supporting points in more depth by explaining the long-term economic or social impacts of these choices.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing and logical progression. Cohesive devices are used naturally, though some are slightly repetitive.
Vary cohesive devices and transition phrases to avoid repetitive structures like 'First', 'Second'.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the task and used accurately, but it is quite basic and relies heavily on words from the prompt.
Incorporate more advanced synonyms and collocations, such as 'infrastructure development', 'subsidize', or 'alleviate congestion'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is highly accurate with very few errors. However, the sentence structures are mostly simple or compound, with limited complex structures.
Incorporate a wider variety of complex structures, such as conditional sentences, passive voice, and relative clauses.