Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Correction

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

Sample Response

People have different opinions and choices about their living places, as some choose to live in a house while others prefer to live in an apartment. The following essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a house compared to an apartment, but I believe that having a house has more benefits than drawbacks. For certain reasons, some people choose not to purchase a landed house. In common, houses have a larger space than a condominium or apartment, which means that it needs more time for the house owner to do the cleaning. As people get busier these days they have lesser time for cleaning activities, so they choose to live in an apartment. Secondly, there are more maintenance works to do for people who live in a cold area, especially during the winter season. For instance, it is mandatory for house owners to clear the pedestrian way which passes through their houses by shovelling the snow. This activity consumes a lot of time and energies, therefore people try to avoid it by living in a flat. Again owning a house increases many responsibilities which flat owners can mostly avoid. Finally, purchasing an apartment requires less money than building a decent house. Despite all of the disadvantages mentioned above, many people believe that having a house brings a lot of benefits for them rather than owning an apartment. Firstly, it is a fact that the price of a detached house increases rapidly than an apartment. It means that house owners could get a higher capital gain when they plan to sell the house. Secondly, the living cost of living in a house is lower than in an apartment as they do not have to pay the monthly maintenance fee. In certain countries, governments also differentiate the electricity and water rate between landed houses and apartments, as they believe that living in condominiums would be counted as a luxurious lifestyle. Lastly, a certain belief that it is safer to live in a landed house, especially when a natural disaster occurs. For example, it is riskier for people who live in a highrise building to survive than those who live in a detached house during an earthquake. Furthermore, an apartment building is owned by a housing estate company and many flat owners live there together. This reduces the freedom for apartment owners. On the contrary, a separate house owner enjoys full freedom and do not have to live with many other families in the same building. In conclusion, it is a fact that people have their own preferences and opinions about the type of properties that they would like to choose. Whichever the type of the property is, both have their own positive and negative aspects. I believe that the advantages of living in a house are greater than the disadvantages and I encourage people to save some money and purchase a house rather than planning to purchase an apartment.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Natural phrase Original: opinions and choices about their living places Suggested revision: preferences about where they live Why it matters: This is more concise and natural.
  • 2. Housing term Original: a landed house Suggested revision: a detached house Why it matters: Detached house is more widely understood in this context.
  • 3. Wrong phrase Original: In common Suggested revision: In general Why it matters: In general is the correct linking phrase.
  • 4. Comparison error Original: they have lesser time Suggested revision: they have less time Why it matters: Use less with uncountable time.
  • 5. Concise wording Original: cleaning activities Suggested revision: cleaning Why it matters: The noun activities is unnecessary.
  • 6. Uncountable noun Original: maintenance works Suggested revision: maintenance work Why it matters: Maintenance work is normally uncountable.
  • 7. Natural term Original: clear the pedestrian way Suggested revision: clear the sidewalk Why it matters: Sidewalk or pavement is the natural term, depending on variety of English.
  • 8. Uncountable noun Original: time and energies Suggested revision: time and energy Why it matters: Energy is usually uncountable here.
  • 9. Comparison structure Original: increases rapidly than an apartment Suggested revision: increases more rapidly than that of an apartment Why it matters: The comparison needs more and a clear reference to price.
  • 10. Repetition Original: the living cost of living in a house Suggested revision: the cost of living in a house Why it matters: Remove the repeated living.
  • 11. Plural rates Original: electricity and water rate Suggested revision: electricity and water rates Why it matters: Rates should be plural when referring to both utilities.
  • 12. Missing verb Original: a certain belief that it is safer Suggested revision: there is a common belief that it is safer Why it matters: The phrase needs a main clause.

Suggested Rewrites

  • opinions and choices about their living places preferences about where they live
  • a landed house a detached house
  • In common In general
  • they have lesser time they have less time
  • cleaning activities cleaning
  • maintenance works maintenance work
Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.

TR

Task Response

6.5
Feedback

The essay addresses the advantages and disadvantages of living in a house compared with an apartment and gives a clear preference for houses. The points are relevant, but the response sometimes shifts to apartment benefits and repeats ideas instead of weighing them concisely.

Next step

Group the discussion into disadvantages of houses and advantages of houses, then explicitly compare which side is stronger.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

5.5
Feedback

The ideas follow a broad logical order, but the whole essay is presented as one long paragraph. This weakens readability, topic control, and progression between disadvantage, advantage, and conclusion.

Next step

Use four paragraphs: introduction, house disadvantages, house advantages, and conclusion.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Feedback

Vocabulary is adequate for housing, maintenance, costs, and safety. Some collocations and word choices are inaccurate, such as lesser time, energies, pedestrian way, and highrise.

Next step

Use natural housing vocabulary such as less time, energy, pavement or sidewalk, high-rise building, maintenance costs, and property value.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Feedback

Most meaning is clear and there are several complex structures. Errors occur in articles, comparative forms, plural nouns, and verb agreement.

Next step

Check comparisons and countable nouns, especially when discussing houses, apartments, owners, and costs.