Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?
Sample Response
With the rapid population explosion, an increasing number of properties have been built in many bustling cities. However, a recent poll shows that people prefer dwelling in apartments than to living in houses. I also think that living in an apartment has more advantages though living in houses has some benefits as well.
As for hunting an ideal vocation, living in an apartment near the commercial centre is the best choice. First, we are offered more choices on transportations and we can save time on commuting. Moreover, we don't need to worry about any housebreaking burglary when leaving for a certain time, since our apartments are protected by the management company. Furthermore, there are fewer cockroaches and mosquitoes if we live on higher floors.
Nevertheless, people who tend to live in a house have a desire to enjoy the tranquillity. We are given more free space such as rooms, car parking, and garden. In the meantime, we can also invite friends to hold a big party without worrying that may bother the neighbours.
However, when living in an apartment, it's hard for us to rent a parking spot. We need to pay parking fee monthly which costs a considerable amount of income. However, it's stressful for the middle-class family to buy a house since it's pricey.
All in all, it depends on personal current situations to consider whether we should buy a house or an apartment, but in my opinion, I have to say the apartment is more suitable for people who live in a modern city.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Avoid exaggeration Original: population explosion Suggested revision: rapid population growth Why it matters: “Explosion” is dramatic and not needed for this housing argument.
- 2. Fix comparison Original: prefer dwelling in apartments than to living Suggested revision: prefer living in apartments to living Why it matters: “Prefer X to Y” requires parallel gerunds.
- 3. Wrong word choice Original: hunting an ideal vocation Suggested revision: finding an ideal location Why it matters: “Vocation” means career, not place to live.
- 4. Use uncountable noun Original: transportations Suggested revision: transport Why it matters: “Transport” is usually uncountable in this context.
- 5. Link to location Original: we can save time on commuting Suggested revision: we can save commuting time Why it matters: The idea is clear but can be stated more concisely.
- 6. Avoid redundancy Original: housebreaking burglary Suggested revision: burglary Why it matters: The two words overlap, so one clear noun is enough.
- 7. Use natural phrase Original: leaving for a certain time Suggested revision: being away for a period of time Why it matters: The current phrase is awkward.
- 8. Add article Original: higher floors Suggested revision: the higher floors Why it matters: A definite article makes the reference to apartment levels clearer.
- 9. Use contrast accurately Original: Nevertheless Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: The paragraph shifts to houses, so a simpler contrast marker is more precise.
- 10. Use parallel nouns Original: rooms, car parking, and garden Suggested revision: rooms, car parking, and a garden Why it matters: The countable noun “garden” needs an article.
- 11. Add subject Original: worrying that may bother Suggested revision: worrying that we may bother Why it matters: The clause needs a subject.
- 12. Clarify disadvantage shift Original: However, when living in an apartment Suggested revision: One disadvantage of apartment living is that Why it matters: The paragraph introduces a disadvantage and needs a clearer topic signal.
Suggested Rewrites
- population explosion rapid population growth
- prefer dwelling in apartments than to living prefer living in apartments to living
- hunting an ideal vocation finding an ideal location
- transportations transport
- we can save time on commuting we can save commuting time
- housebreaking burglary burglary
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay discusses advantages and disadvantages of apartments and houses, but the prompt asks whether living in a house has more advantages than disadvantages compared with an apartment. The position leans toward apartments, so the response only partially matches the exact question.
State clearly whether a house has more advantages than disadvantages, then compare house benefits and drawbacks directly with apartment living.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is divided into clear paragraphs and generally progresses logically. However, the contrast between houses and apartments is sometimes unclear, especially in the parking paragraph.
Use explicit comparison language such as "By contrast", "Compared with a house", and "This advantage is stronger because...".
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied enough for the topic, including commercial centre, management company, tranquillity, and considerable amount. Some lexical choices are inaccurate or unnatural.
Check word choice carefully where a similar-looking word has a different meaning, such as "vocation" versus "accommodation".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Most sentences are understandable and there is some complex grammar. Errors with prepositions, plurals, and clause structure appear but do not usually block meaning.
Proofread preposition patterns after verbs such as "prefer" and noun phrases such as "parking fee".