The diagram below shows how fabric is manufactured from bamboo.
Sample Response
The diagram shows the process of making fabric from bamboo.
Overall, there are several steps in the process. First, bamboo is cut down and turned into bamboo chips. Then, the chips are changed into bamboo pulp. After that, the pulp is made into bamboo fibre. Finally, the fibre is spun into yarn and then produced into fabric.
At the beginning, bamboo trees are harvested and cut into small chips by a machine. Next, these bamboo chips are put into a chemical process to become bamboo pulp. After that, the pulp goes through another stage and is changed into bamboo fibre.
In the final stages, the bamboo fibre is spun to make yarn. The yarn is then woven into fabric, which is the finished product. Compared with the first part of the process, the later stages focus on turning the fibre into material that can be used for making clothes or other textile products.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Incorrect Task Format Original: The diagram shows the process of making fabric from bamboo. Suggested revision: [This entire response describes a diagram instead of answering an essay question. For Task 2, you must write an essay.] Why it matters: Task 2 requires an essay addressing a social issue, opinion, or problem, not a description of a process diagram.
- 2. Repetitive transition Original: After that Suggested revision: Following this stage Why it matters: Using 'After that' repeatedly makes the writing sound mechanical.
- 3. Task 2 Essay Introduction Original: The diagram shows the process of making fabric from bamboo. Suggested revision: In recent years, the environmental impact of the textile industry has sparked intense debate, with many arguing that sustainable materials like bamboo should replace traditional synthetics. Why it matters: A Task 2 introduction must introduce a debate or topic and state a clear thesis/opinion, rather than describing a visual diagram.
- 4. Incorrect Paragraph Purpose Suggested revision: Write an introduction that introduces a controversial topic, outlines both sides (if applicable), and clearly states your thesis statement. Why it matters: The introductory paragraph currently introduces a process diagram, which is incorrect for Task 2.
- 5. Wrong Task Type Submitted Suggested revision: Make sure to write a discursive essay for Task 2. Do not describe charts, maps, or diagrams here. Why it matters: You have submitted a Task 1 response under a Task 2 prompt. Task 2 requires an essay of at least 250 words expressing an opinion or analyzing an issue.
- 6. Word Count Penalty Suggested revision: Aim for 260-280 words to safely pass the 250-word threshold. Why it matters: At 148 words, this response is significantly under-length for Task 2, which automatically limits your score.
Suggested Rewrites
- The diagram shows the process of making fabric from bamboo. [This entire response describes a diagram instead of answering an essay question. For Task 2, you must write an essay.]
- After that Following this stage
- The diagram shows the process of making fabric from bamboo. In recent years, the environmental impact of the textile industry has sparked intense debate, with many arguing that sustainable materials like bamboo should replace traditional synthetics.
- Incorrect Paragraph Purpose Write an introduction that introduces a controversial topic, outlines both sides (if applicable), and clearly states your thesis statement.
- Wrong Task Type Submitted Make sure to write a discursive essay for Task 2. Do not describe charts, maps, or diagrams here.
- Word Count Penalty Aim for 260-280 words to safely pass the 250-word threshold.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response fails to meet the requirements of a Task 2 essay. It describes a process diagram (which is a Task 1 prompt) instead of writing an argumentative or discursive essay. Furthermore, at 148 words, it is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement.
Ensure you write a formal essay of at least 250 words for Task 2, presenting a clear position, arguments, and supporting examples rather than describing a diagram.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraphing is logical for a process description, but because the format is incorrect for Task 2, there is no essay structure (introduction, body paragraphs with arguments, conclusion). Cohesive devices are repetitive.
Use a standard essay structure: Introduction (paraphrase prompt + thesis statement), Body Paragraph 1 (first main point), Body Paragraph 2 (second main point), and a Conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, focusing heavily on words directly copied or easily derived from the prompt (bamboo, chips, pulp, fibre, fabric).
Work on expanding your academic vocabulary and using synonyms to avoid repeating the same words throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The grammar is mostly accurate, but the sentence structures are very simple and repetitive. There is a lack of complex sentence structures required for higher bands.
Practice using subordinate clauses, relative clauses, and passive voice variations to increase grammatical complexity.