In some countries, using the internet in school is getting popular. Is it positive or negative development?
Sample Response
It is an irresistible fact that over the past few decades the world has witnessed the rapid strides in technology, especially in the field of education, as it has been seen that utilisation of internet has expanded among the schools in many countries. In my opinion, it has both positive and negative developments and effects. While spotlighting the positive development, I can say that it is highly imperative for today's pupils that they know about the new technology in this competitive epoch. So, to allow the internet in school can play a key role in the development of a student. By knowing the advantages of the internet, the young students can comprehend any concept of study which is not understood by them in classrooms. For verification, it is illustrated that the students who are well recognised with internet usage in school time, do not usually face the inconvenience in further life. On the contrary, in spite of the internet being such helpful in school, its drawbacks cannot be overlooked. It is likely that the pupils can be overdependent on the internet. It can swallow the direct interaction between students and teacher. For instance, there are many websites on the internet with which students can attend any lecture of his class through the internet while sitting at home. So he or she probably make it a habit and as to he or she can give preference to the online methods of study. Furthermore, there is surety that every student would use this technology in a positive way. So far I have written to be concluded that it is in the hand of the school department to make the positive development of usage of internet in school. They should allow the students to use the internet to such an extent that it cannot impact the practical knowledge and interaction of the students with teacher.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Overstated phrase widely accepted
- 2. Missing article use of the internet
- 3. Unnatural range in schools
- 4. Unclear position both positive and negative effects, but overall it is positive if supervised
- 5. Awkward transition One positive aspect is that
- 6. Verb form to know about
- 7. Over-specific article young students
- 8. Wrong collocation familiar with using the internet
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses both benefits and drawbacks of internet use in schools and gives a position, but the view is not sharply framed as positive, negative, or balanced until the end.
State your judgement clearly in the introduction, then make each body paragraph prove one part of that judgement with a specific school-based example.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a basic progression from advantages to disadvantages to conclusion, but paragraphing is absent and some links are mechanical or unclear.
Use separate paragraphs and topic sentences: one for educational benefits, one for risks, and one conclusion with your final position.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for the topic, but several word choices are unnatural or imprecise, which weakens academic tone.
Replace memorised phrases with direct academic wording, such as internet access, classroom learning, supervision, and overdependence.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is mostly clear, but article use, subject-verb agreement, and sentence control errors occur regularly.
Revise long sentences into shorter clauses and check each noun phrase for articles and plural forms.