It is said that day-by-day people’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What are the reasons behind that? What can be done to solve this problem?
Sample Response
These days, as the human has stepped on the path to transcendence, people are competing to be better every day. As the time goes by, many of us are tend to be afflicted by stressful feeling. Actually, there are some reasons behind this problem. In this essay, I will explain the reasons why it can happen and try to propose some solutions to tackle this matter. As regard the first, the reason why people are having stressful life is because of their lifestyle. Every individual tends to fulfil their need and desire. They earn money as much as they can and spent almost along the day for work. However, people only need a short time to spend their money for buying everything that they want. This phenomenon can cause stress among people. Secondly, stressfulness can happen because of the competitive ambience among each individual. People are competing to look perfect every time. In every facet of our life, people like to compete. For instance, they compete in jobs, study, finance, appearance, and on the other aspects of our life. However, the fact is not all the people are able to fulfil their need as their wish. Only the rich and wealthy people can do that. Therefore, it can raise stressfulness. These days people needs to outperform others in the study, job and in other social affairs and these are few of the main reasons for the increased stress and pressure among us. The technological advancement has made our life easier in one hand and at the same time, this is another reason for the pressured life for many. I think that there are so many impeccable solutions to cope this problem. Firstly, people have to manage their time and finance properly. They have to balance their personal and professional life and do not need to obtain everything that they want. People should look at the others who have a poorer life than us. They also should refresh their mind after spending the hectic stressful schedule by taking a walk to interesting places such as beach or mountain. Thus, people can feel free and relaxed. They should not think too much about earning money. In conclusion, positive life, satisfaction and balanced life can reduce the stress we have to a great extent. As competition is one of the main reasons for increased stress nowadays, we should not rival others in every aspect. The positive mentality and happy family bonding can help us achieving a life with less stress.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural/general noun Original: as the human has stepped Suggested revision: as humans have stepped Why it matters: The essay is discussing people generally, so plural “humans” is needed.
- 2. Avoid overstatement Original: path to transcendence Suggested revision: path of rapid change Why it matters: This phrase sounds exaggerated and unclear for a stress essay.
- 3. Remove article Original: As the time goes by Suggested revision: As time goes by Why it matters: This is the standard phrase.
- 4. Fix verb pattern Original: are tend to be Suggested revision: tend to be Why it matters: Do not use “are” before “tend.”
- 5. Use natural noun Original: stressful feeling Suggested revision: stress Why it matters: The noun “stress” is more natural than “stressful feeling.”
- 6. Use clear transition Original: As regard the first Suggested revision: Regarding the first reason Why it matters: The transition is grammatically incorrect.
- 7. Add article/plural Original: stressful life Suggested revision: stressful lives Why it matters: The plural subject “people” needs plural “lives.”
- 8. Use plural nouns Original: fulfil their need and desire Suggested revision: fulfil their needs and desires Why it matters: The phrase refers to general human wants, so plural nouns are required.
- 9. Fix verb and phrase Original: spent almost along the day Suggested revision: spend almost the whole day Why it matters: The verb tense and phrase are both incorrect.
- 10. Use standard noun Original: stressfulness Suggested revision: stress Why it matters: “Stressfulness” is awkward and not the normal noun for this idea.
- 11. Use natural term Original: competitive ambience Suggested revision: competitive atmosphere Why it matters: This is the more common collocation.
- 12. Clarify meaning Original: look perfect every time Suggested revision: appear perfect all the time Why it matters: The phrase is understandable but informal and imprecise.
Suggested Rewrites
- as the human has stepped as humans have stepped
- path to transcendence path of rapid change
- As the time goes by As time goes by
- are tend to be tend to be
- stressful feeling stress
- As regard the first Regarding the first reason
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay answers both parts with relevant reasons such as work pressure, competition, and lifestyle, and offers solutions such as better balance and time management. However, some ideas are general and not fully supported.
Give one concrete example for each reason and explain how each proposed solution directly reduces stress.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a basic logical order from causes to solutions to conclusion, but the entire response is presented as one block. This makes progression difficult to follow and weakens paragraph-level coherence.
Separate the essay into an introduction, one paragraph for reasons, one paragraph for solutions, and a conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary includes relevant terms such as lifestyle, competitive ambience, professional life, and balanced life. Some word choices are awkward or inaccurate, and there is repetition of stress-related words.
Use natural collocations such as "stressful lifestyle", "competitive environment", "work-life balance", and "cope with this problem".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures is attempted, but frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, prepositions, and articles reduce accuracy. Meaning is usually understandable but sometimes strained.
Focus on subject-verb agreement and preposition patterns, especially "tend to", "spend time", and "cope with".