It is said that day-by-day people’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What are the reasons behind that? What can be done to solve this problem?
Sample Response
The word has changed, there has been evolution and transformation in every aspect of the universe, gone are the days when people were self-sufficient, now everyone wants more and more and this attitude makes people more stressful.
Day and day out people have become competitive, they are longing for better and better than good and in this journey, people are inducing themselves to stresses. There were days when people used to be active and enjoy their life by spending time with their families but nowadays people give less time to their families rather they spend their times on the invention of a better lifestyle. For instance, the technology which is prevailing in the present times made a huge impact on a person’s lifestyle.people are pertinently stressed due to the job burdens to deliver their best and to stand in the race.
If an employee aims for a good achievement, his employer aims for a better and in this juncture, people are imparting their time to get better out of them and this even increases undue stresses. They being stressful show cast their stress on their family members which in turn makes the whole family live a stressful life. In earlier days, when technology was limited people were not under stress, though stressed their stress was limited, if we see the reason behind stress as technology, we can illustrate using an example of mobile phones. Mobile phones convey a person's mobility and liable to respond to the incoming call at any time. But if the mobile phones were not there, there is a limited chance that the person should respond.
And the other reason we see that indicative changes in the family bonds are also causing stresses, people, in earlier days are more cordial and are less stressed compared to the present time. One can overcome stress in their life when they distance themselves from the competitive world, I do not comprehend that man should not be competitive, he should be competitive but should also be self-sufficient. Secondly, he should not take all the burdens on his head which he cannot solve it, he should be a “let it go” attitude that he could overpower the stress.
Thirdly stress can be avoided by culturing the body with meditation, yoga, physical workouts, travelling, recreational activities and apart from these he can spend time with family and hear soothing music too. Finally, a change in one’s attitude is the need of the hour for a person to be stress-free if he is always self-sufficient and does not panic to situations. A person is successful if he is stress-free. This is the ultimate success a person needs right now.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong word Original: The word has changed Suggested revision: The world has changed Why it matters: The intended noun is world, not word.
- 2. Overgeneralisation Original: every aspect of the universe Suggested revision: many aspects of modern life Why it matters: This is more precise and less exaggerated.
- 3. Adjective choice Original: makes people more stressful Suggested revision: makes people more stressed Why it matters: People feel stressed; stressful describes situations.
- 4. Academic tone Original: Day and day out Suggested revision: Day by day Why it matters: Day by day is clearer, though an academic essay may not need this phrase.
- 5. Uncountable noun Original: to stresses Suggested revision: to stress Why it matters: Stress is usually uncountable in this general meaning.
- 6. Uncountable noun Original: they spend their times Suggested revision: they spend their time Why it matters: Time is uncountable in this phrase.
- 7. Sentence spacing Original: lifestyle.people Suggested revision: lifestyle. People Why it matters: A new sentence needs a capital letter and a space after the period.
- 8. Wrong adverb Original: pertinently stressed Suggested revision: constantly stressed Why it matters: Pertinently does not fit this meaning.
- 9. Natural expression Original: stand in the race Suggested revision: remain competitive Why it matters: Remain competitive is clearer and more academic.
- 10. Fixed phrase Original: in this juncture Suggested revision: at this juncture Why it matters: The correct preposition is at, though the phrase is also rather formal.
- 11. Wrong phrase Original: show cast their stress Suggested revision: take out their stress Why it matters: Show cast is not a natural expression here.
- 12. Tense and punctuation Original: people, in earlier days are more cordial Suggested revision: people in earlier days were more cordial Why it matters: Use past tense for earlier days and avoid unnecessary commas.
Suggested Rewrites
- The word has changed The world has changed
- every aspect of the universe many aspects of modern life
- makes people more stressful makes people more stressed
- Day and day out Day by day
- to stresses to stress
- they spend their times they spend their time
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay discusses several reasons for stress and suggests possible solutions, so it addresses the task. However, the causes overlap, some claims are vague, and the solutions are listed rather than developed.
Group the answer around two causes, such as work competition and technology, then give one explained solution for each.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is paragraphing and a general movement from causes to solutions, but progression is uneven. Several paragraphs repeat competition and stress, and the conclusion introduces broad claims instead of summarising the answer.
Use clear cause paragraphs followed by a solution paragraph, with each paragraph beginning with a focused topic sentence.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough vocabulary to discuss stress, work, technology, and lifestyle, but many word choices are inaccurate or unnatural. Examples include evolution and transformation in every aspect of the universe, show cast their stress, and culturing the body.
Replace dramatic or unclear phrases with direct academic vocabulary: modern life, workplace pressure, constant availability, coping strategies, and exercise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent sentence-boundary, article, preposition, and word-form errors reduce clarity. Long sentences often contain comma splices and unclear pronoun references.
Break long sentences into shorter ones and check each sentence has one main idea with a clear subject and verb.