In some countries, it can be difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?
This response is estimated at Band 4.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
Young people are often preferredconsidered over older workersthe old ones by most organisations. The percentage of people losing their jobs due to their age as they pass the age of 50advance beyond 50 is alarmingly highmore in some countries. Such problems are a matter of great concern and must be addressed for a better economic healthstate of a nation.
Why this response received Band 4.5
The response establishes the relevance of age discrimination and uses some appropriate employment-related vocabulary, so its central concern is clear. However, it is only an introduction and neither explains the causes of the problem nor proposes measures, leaving the task almost entirely undeveloped. The highest priority is to build a complete four-paragraph essay with separate, supported discussions of causes and practical solutions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response introduces the topic of age discrimination but is far below the 250-word requirement and does not actually explain causes or measures. Task response is therefore very limited.
Write a complete essay with one paragraph on causes, such as employer bias and technology concerns, and one paragraph on solutions, such as anti-discrimination laws and retraining.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a basic three-sentence introduction, but no developed body paragraphs or conclusion. Progression is too limited for Task 2.
Use a four-paragraph structure: introduction, causes, measures, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Some topic vocabulary is relevant, including organisations, experience, and economic state. Word choice is often awkward, such as considered over the old ones and alarmingly more.
Use accurate phrases such as preferred over older workers, age discrimination, experienced employees, and labour market.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The short response has some accurate basic structures, but there are errors in comparison, noun choice, and sentence construction.
Practise clear comparative sentences with older workers and younger applicants as the subjects.