Many people believe that education standards have declined in recent times, particularly in the areas of literacy and numeracy. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.
Sample Response
It is widely acknowledged that standards in reading and math have declined in numerous countries for the past few decades. The purpose of this essay is to explore the possible causes and to formulate suitable approaches to tackle this critical situation. Literacy is the ability to speak, write, read and listen in a way that allows people to communicate effectively and to make sense of the world around us; while numeracy is being capable of thinking logically, reasonably and able to use mathematics to meet the demands of everyday life. It is somewhat interesting that academic standards began to diminish around the time of the technology boom, with increasingly more automatized machines and gadgets to make life "easier". Perhaps it got a little bit too easy. Instant messaging allows quick communication and is relatively easy to use; however, it also prompted the usage of chatting acronyms. On efficacious solution to this problem is encouraging students to read a variety of text from various sources-newspapers, magazines, novels, recipes etc..., instead of only from the internet, this will boost their spelling and reading abilities. Another factor is simply that the education system has been modified for the purpose of generating more "rounded" students; therefore, music, arts, and gym are equally essential as reading and Math. Despite the good intentions, in order to make room for other subjects, literacy and mathematics hours and standards have been reduced. An effective approach is to adapt school curricula from other countries that have higher literacy and numeracy levels into our local study programs. To conclude, literacy and numeracy skills are intertwined with our daily lives, therefore it is of the utmost importance to maintain a certain level of standards.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use task terms literacy and numeracy
- 2. Time phrase over the past few decades
- 3. More direct thesis This essay explores
- 4. Natural wording to propose practical solutions
- 5. Semicolon misuse around us, while
- 6. Definition form is the ability to
- 7. Parallel structure reasonably and use
- 8. Wrong word choice automated machines
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay addresses causes and solutions and stays relevant to literacy and numeracy. Development is adequate, but the definition-heavy opening and some unsupported claims reduce depth.
Spend less space defining terms and more space explaining how each cause directly lowers literacy or numeracy, then match each cause with a practical solution.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a generally logical sequence from causes to solutions, but the response is written as one long paragraph and some links are mechanical or overloaded.
Use separate paragraphs for introduction, technology cause and reading solution, curriculum cause and policy solution, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is topic-related and sometimes flexible, but several word choices are awkward or inaccurate, such as 'automatized', 'chatting acronyms', and 'efficacious'.
Use natural education vocabulary such as 'automated tools', 'text-message abbreviations', 'curriculum time', and 'core skills'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is mostly clear, but long sentences contain punctuation, agreement, article, and word-form errors. These errors are noticeable but usually not blocking.
Break long sentences into controlled clauses and check fixed patterns such as 'capable of', 'the use of', and 'a variety of texts'.