All countries throughout the world are facing health issues related to modern lifestyles. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Sample Response
Nowadays, the numbernumbers of people who face health problems have increased rapidly due to modern lifestyles. There are various reasons behind this situationwhich have caused the situation, and the following essay will discuss the issue and how to address it.
For a number of reasons, many people are facing serious health issues due to the modern lifestyle. Firstly, due to globalisationdue to the globalisation, people have longer working hoursa longer working hour these days and consequently, they do not have or have a limited amount of timea limited amount time for doing exerciseexercises. As a result, many employees are facing health problems such as high blood pressure and diabetesdiabetic. Secondly, due to the high volume of work, many people are consuming fastinstant food nowadays. Many scientists have proven that this fast foodthese instant foods are considered as unhealthy, as theyit could trigger some serious threats to the human bodyserious threat to the human's body, such as tumour or cancer.
Several measures can help people avoidThere are things that people could do to avoid these unhealthy lifestyles. One of the things that people could do in their workplacesworkplace is by doing some light exercises at the office. For instance, they could take the stairs instead of riding the elevator. In additionAnd then, they could change their eating habitsdiet pattern, by bringing healthy foodfoods from home, instead of dining at a fast food restaurant. And last but not least, people could consider changingconsider in changing their mode of transporttransportations. Instead of using their motor vehicle to work, they could ride a bicycle. Riding a bike is not just a simple and healthy exercise, but it also reduces the air pollution as well.
In conclusion, it is a fact that many people have problems with their health condition due to the modern world. It is mostly due to longer working hours and unhealthy diet patterns. However, these problems could be solved if people change their lifestyles, such as by stoppingstop consuming junk foods and bringing healthy foodbring healthy foods from their home or doing some light exercises at the office. If they make these changesOnce they change their lifestyles, I am sure that their health condition would improve.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response addresses both parts of the task clearly, organising relevant causes and practical solutions into an easy-to-follow progression. Its main limitation is that some health claims are overgeneralised and recurring word-form, collocation, and grammar errors reduce precision, so the highest priority is to explain each causal link more carefully while editing for accurate health vocabulary and sentence patterns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay answers both parts clearly, identifying long working hours and unhealthy food as causes and suggesting exercise, healthier meals, and cycling. The ideas are relevant and sufficiently developed, though some claims could be more carefully qualified.
Explain the mechanism behind each cause and avoid overgeneralising about serious diseases unless the link is clearly supported.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has clear paragraphing and a logical causes-then-solutions structure. Cohesive devices are effective, although several solution sentences begin similarly and could be linked more smoothly.
Use varied linking between solution steps, such as "Another practical measure" and "At the same time".
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is suitable for the topic, including modern lifestyles, working hours, instant food, diet pattern, and air pollution. Some word forms and collocations are inaccurate.
Use accurate health collocations such as "diabetes", "limited time", "change their diet", and "stop consuming junk food".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a good range of simple and complex sentences, and meaning is clear. Errors with articles, plurals, prepositions, and gerunds appear regularly.
Check noun forms for health conditions and use gerunds after prepositions, especially after "by".
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IELTS Writing Task 2
All countries throughout the world are facing health issues related to modern lifestyles. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.