It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
'Talent' as defined by many scientists, is a gift and inherent ability that enables someone to be special than others in a particular area, while many people believe in that others argue that talent could be achieved, learnt or could be gained with practice. I agree that talent is a gift but could be strayed without continuous practice.
On one hand, the proof of that talent or being good in certain aspect is something came spontaneously as many famous talented celebrities, whether they are a musician or professional sportsmen, never had any teaching or any special teaching when they were young. Moreover, many of them were raised in a poor environment with very limited resources, in contrast, there are many sports teams which had a huge budget for the best training facilities and they are still losing whereby the team with low budget and even poor training sessions are winning! If talent had nothing to do with our success, then rich students with better facilities would always have performed better than the poor students who study all by themselves. If practice could have done everything, we would definitely have many Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, Newton, Pele and Shakespeare in every country. The reality is, they are born with talents and their dedication makes them unique.
On the other side talent alone is not enough without practice and hard work. The talented persons need to replenish his/her talent every now and then and try to improve it with practice and learning. The personality like Leonardo da Vinci and Einstein have not achieved their success without sacrifice and hard work.
Many famous and talented singers and famous musicians make hours of daily certain voice exercise for their vocal cords for maintaining the nice voice quality they have and get the maximum benefit of his talent for his community. Furthermore, the government and community associations should contribute in discovering new talents and promote it, facilitate the training for talented persons and sponsor them from their youngest age and make them stars.
In conclusion, talents always play a key role in our success but self-development, commitments, hard work and tender care are also required to maintain the inherent talent and through practice, we can make impossible into possible.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Comma placement Original: 'Talent' as defined by many scientists, is Suggested revision: Talent, as defined by many scientists, is Why it matters: The parenthetical phrase needs commas around it, and quotation marks are unnecessary.
- 2. Comparison error Original: enables someone to be special than others Suggested revision: enables someone to be better than others Why it matters: The comparative structure needs better than, not special than.
- 3. Clause control Original: while many people believe in that others argue Suggested revision: while many people believe this, others argue Why it matters: The original merges two clauses incorrectly.
- 4. Parallel verbs Original: could be achieved, learnt or could be gained Suggested revision: could be learned or gained Why it matters: Use a cleaner parallel structure and avoid repeating could be.
- 5. Wrong word Original: could be strayed Suggested revision: could fade Why it matters: Strayed does not fit; fade expresses loss of talent through lack of practice.
- 6. Verb form Original: something came spontaneously Suggested revision: something that comes naturally Why it matters: This fixes the clause and expresses innate ability clearly.
- 7. Noun form Original: in certain aspect Suggested revision: in a certain field Why it matters: Field is more natural for sports or music, and an article is needed.
- 8. Number agreement Original: whether they are a musician or professional sportsmen Suggested revision: whether they are musicians or professional sportsmen Why it matters: The plural subject they requires plural complements.
- 9. Comma splice Original: in contrast, there are many sports teams Suggested revision: By contrast, there are many sports teams Why it matters: The transition should start a new sentence or be punctuated more clearly.
- 10. Plural examples Original: many Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, Newton, Pele and Shakespeare Suggested revision: many people like Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, Newton, Pele and Shakespeare Why it matters: Use people like when listing unique individuals as examples.
- 11. Wrong collocation Original: replenish his/her talent Suggested revision: develop their talent Why it matters: Talent is developed or maintained, not replenished.
- 12. Subject agreement Original: The personality like Leonardo da Vinci and Einstein have not achieved Suggested revision: Figures such as Leonardo da Vinci and Einstein did not achieve Why it matters: This fixes the subject and tense.
Suggested Rewrites
- 'Talent' as defined by many scientists, is Talent, as defined by many scientists, is
- enables someone to be special than others enables someone to be better than others
- while many people believe in that others argue while many people believe this, others argue
- could be achieved, learnt or could be gained could be learned or gained
- could be strayed could fade
- something came spontaneously something that comes naturally
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay discusses both innate talent and the need for practice, and gives an opinion. However, the second view in the task, that any child can be taught to become good, is not developed as fully as the innate-talent side.
Give one balanced paragraph explaining how training can raise average children to a high level, even if it may not create world-class talent.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a recognisable introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Progression is sometimes weakened by long overloaded sentences and by a late paragraph about government support that is only loosely connected to the task.
Use one paragraph for natural talent, one for training and practice, and one for your final balanced opinion.
Lexical Resource
There is some topic vocabulary about talent, practice, facilities, and dedication. Frequent awkward collocations and word choices reduce precision, such as strayed, replenish his/her talent, and make hours of daily certain voice exercise.
Replace translated-sounding phrases with natural expressions such as innate ability, develop talent, regular vocal exercises, and maintain performance.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentences, but grammar errors are frequent in clauses, articles, agreement, and sentence control. Meaning is usually clear but often strained.
Shorten long sentences and check each clause has a clear subject, verb, and object before adding examples.