It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
It is said that ‘nothing is impossible ' in this world. To make every impossible thing possible, lots of hard work, sacrifice, determination, and good health are required. In an exception, some people confront to failure despite performing their duties sincerely.
I believe that those unsuccessful people were deprived of inborn talent. Sometimes, it may happen that luck does not favour them. For instance, a highly talented athlete who was preparing for competition breaks his leg. Provided that he had not broken his leg, he would have at least won the bronze medal but luck did not favour him. Furthermore, there was another athlete who never won any medal in his career despite his sincere endeavour. It means that he was not gifted to become a professional athlete. So, it would better if he brings down the curtain as an athlete. On the contrary, there are some people in the world who fail to realise their interest. Certainly, one can have a rewarding career if one's talent is deduced on time. Otherwise, life becomes far worse than expectations. Let's imagine, what will happen if Pele had pursued his career other than football? Surely, other people might have been filled up the shoe as 'a king of football'. But, this did not happen as football passionate Pele transformed gifted talent into a reality. So, natural talent cannot be fostered unless one interests in it. It is the obligation of parents and teacher to motivate, care and assist in making their children's future prosperous. Otherwise, children have to lead the life beyond their acumen and capacity. Neither does it any good to children themselves nor to the parents and the country if the natural talents of a particular field get spoiled.
In conclusion, one can learn whatever they are taught but to become the master of it, one should be born with the talent for it.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Verb pattern Original: confront to failure Suggested revision: face failure Why it matters: Confront does not take to in this structure; face failure is clearer and more natural.
- 2. Missing verb Original: it would better if Suggested revision: it would be better if Why it matters: The phrase requires the verb be after would.
- 3. Wrong word choice Original: deduced on time Suggested revision: identified early Why it matters: Talent is identified or recognized, not deduced, in this context.
- 4. Incorrect idiom Original: filled up the shoe Suggested revision: filled his shoes Why it matters: The idiom is fill someone’s shoes, meaning take their place.
- 5. Plural agreement Original: parents and teacher Suggested revision: parents and teachers Why it matters: The sentence refers to these groups generally, so teachers should be plural.
- 6. Quotation spacing Original: ‘nothing is impossible ' Suggested revision: ‘nothing is impossible’ Why it matters: Remove the extra space before the closing quotation mark.
- 7. Awkward phrase Original: every impossible thing Suggested revision: difficult goals Why it matters: The phrase is unnatural and too absolute for the argument.
- 8. Incorrect opener Original: In an exception Suggested revision: In some exceptional cases Why it matters: The sentence needs a natural adverbial phrase.
- 9. Overgeneralised wording Original: were deprived of inborn talent Suggested revision: lacked natural talent Why it matters: This is clearer and less absolute than deprived of.
- 10. Tense consistency Original: breaks his leg Suggested revision: broke his leg Why it matters: The example is hypothetical but narrated in the past, so past tense is smoother.
- 11. Unsupported claim Original: at least won the bronze medal Suggested revision: might have performed well Why it matters: The exact medal claim is not supported and distracts from the argument.
- 12. Idiomatic clarity Original: brings down the curtain as an athlete Suggested revision: ended his career as an athlete Why it matters: The idiom is awkward here and may obscure the meaning.
Suggested Rewrites
- confront to failure face failure
- it would better if it would be better if
- deduced on time identified early
- filled up the shoe filled his shoes
- parents and teacher parents and teachers
- ‘nothing is impossible ' ‘nothing is impossible’
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay gives a clear opinion that natural talent is necessary, but it gives limited attention to the opposing view that any child can be taught. Much of the discussion focuses on luck, injury, and failed athletes rather than directly comparing talent with training.
Devote one body paragraph to natural ability and one to teaching or practice, then explain why one view is stronger in your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is an introduction, a long central body paragraph, and a conclusion. Progression is uneven because several examples are packed into one paragraph and links between talent, luck, and interest are sometimes unclear.
Use shorter body paragraphs with clear topic sentences so each view is developed in a controlled sequence.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is sufficient for the topic, with words such as athlete, talented, professional, interest, and prosperous. However, several expressions are unnatural or inaccurate, including deduced on time and filled up the shoe.
Focus on accurate collocations for talent and training, such as identify talent, develop ability, receive coaching, and fulfil potential.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay attempts complex structures, including conditionals and concessive clauses, but frequent errors in prepositions, articles, and sentence formation reduce control. Some sentence meanings remain understandable but awkward.
Revise complex sentences for subject-verb agreement and preposition choice before adding more examples.