It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
People have differing opinions as to what makes a high achiever. Some believe that a person has got to possess certain innate traits to become an excellent performer while the other school of thought is that anyone can become an excellent performer if being taught in a right way. I tend to gravitate towards the latter school of thought.
Firstly, we have to admit that in certain realms in life, to achieve greatness, you have got to have the right genetics, to illustrate; a shorter person will always be at a disadvantage against a taller person in basketball. Secondly, many children display phenomenal qualities at sports and music that it wouldn’t be irrational to believe that they were born with these characteristics, enabling them to excel in their chosen fields.
However, I strongly believe that talent is massively overhyped in our culture. If we examine the lives of top performers in any field such as Tiger Woods in Golf or Mozart in music, we would realise that these people didn’t have any inborn attributes that we normally associate with geniuses. What in fact happens is that such people normally are exposed to the areas that they would grow up to excel in, later in their lives, from a very tender age. There is indeed no such thing as a child prodigy which is evident from biographies of almost all of highly recognised top performers. In addition, these people spend a painstaking amount of time perfecting their acts whether be it symphonies or a particular kind of move in sports.
To conclude, in spite of the fact that most people believe that talent is inborn, I beg to differ with this notion and believe that as long as the trait in question is not purely physical, like height, any child or person can become a top performer in their chosen domain with enough time spent in practice.
[Writen by - Sameed ]
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clause pattern Original: if being taught Suggested revision: if they are taught Why it matters: The full clause is needed after if in this sentence.
- 2. Article choice Original: in a right way Suggested revision: in the right way Why it matters: The fixed phrase is in the right way.
- 3. Tone choice Original: gravitate towards Suggested revision: support Why it matters: Gravitate towards is understandable but slightly informal for a direct essay position.
- 4. Punctuation after linker Original: to illustrate; Suggested revision: to illustrate, Why it matters: A comma, not a semicolon, should follow this introductory phrase.
- 5. Preposition Original: at sports and music Suggested revision: in sports and music Why it matters: In is the more natural preposition for fields of ability.
- 6. Informal intensity Original: massively overhyped Suggested revision: often overemphasised Why it matters: This sounds more academic and less conversational.
- 7. Capitalisation Original: Golf Suggested revision: golf Why it matters: The sport name does not need a capital letter in this context.
- 8. Long condition Original: music, we would realise Suggested revision: music, we realise Why it matters: The sentence can be more direct and less conditional.
- 9. Streamline link Original: What in fact happens is that Suggested revision: In fact, Why it matters: This makes the transition lighter and clearer.
- 10. Natural phrase Original: from a very tender age Suggested revision: from a very young age Why it matters: Young age is the more standard collocation.
- 11. Overstatement Original: There is indeed no such thing as a child prodigy Suggested revision: The idea of a child prodigy is often more complex than it appears Why it matters: The original claim is too absolute and weakens balance.
- 12. Spelling Original: Writen Suggested revision: Written Why it matters: This attribution contains a spelling error.
Suggested Rewrites
- if being taught if they are taught
- in a right way in the right way
- gravitate towards support
- to illustrate; to illustrate,
- at sports and music in sports and music
- massively overhyped often overemphasised
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses both views, presents a clear opinion, and develops a relevant argument with examples, though a few claims are too absolute and could be better qualified.
Keep the strong position but qualify broad claims about prodigies and training with more balanced wording.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and progression is clear, with effective contrast between natural traits and training; some sentence links are slightly heavy or awkward.
Use fewer long linking phrases and make the central contrast explicit in each body paragraph topic sentence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and topic-specific, with some strong phrases, but a few choices are informal, exaggerated, or misspelled.
Replace informal or extreme expressions with precise academic wording and proofread final details.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used successfully, although there are occasional punctuation, article, and clause-pattern errors.
Edit long sentences for punctuation and use more controlled relative clauses when explaining examples.