Nowadays companies and other organisations are requiring their employees to wear a uniform. What is your viewpoint on this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing a uniform?
Sample Response
Requiring individuals to dress their uniforms when at work in many companies and organisations became an enormously controversial issue in this new generation. Uniforms resemble one's own identity, whether you are a student or a working professional. In this essay, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of dressing uniforms.
Among the advantages, dressing a prescribed uniform in a work field is very eye-catching and more formal to look at. In this way, clients will treat them with due respect despite the success and failure in their duty. What is more is that it represents the uniqueness of one's own character no matter how good or bad an individual is, which attributes more on physical aspects. For example, many people in my country nowadays prefer to take up nursing course because it is a noble and caring profession. It is attractive to look individuals wearing white uniforms although the workloads are not easy, caring for the sick is tremendously tiring and did not earn much in their monthly salary.
On the other side of this argument, crime is on the increase as a disadvantage because some will abuse powers vested to them to their subordinates and local communities, like in the national and local governments, especially in the criminology department. By acting illegally not in accordance with the law, that will simply degrade the reputations and give them negative images to people in a society. Moreover, policemen here in the Philippines can be seen scattered in the streets abusing people who they thought were not doing the "right way".
In my own conclusion, dressing a uniform attire correlates with responsibility. Accountability of our own actions must be in a harmonious tandem to avoid further conflicts.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong verb pattern to wear uniforms
- 2. Tense error has become an enormously controversial issue
- 3. Wrong verb Uniforms represent a person's identity
- 4. Uniform collocation wearing uniforms
- 5. Awkward collocation wearing a prescribed uniform
- 6. Unnatural phrase in the workplace
- 7. Concise linker Moreover,
- 8. Unclear idea a shared professional identity
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay addresses uniforms and mentions advantages and disadvantages, but the viewpoint is vague and several ideas are poorly connected to the actual issue. The disadvantage paragraph moves into crime and abuse of power without showing clearly how uniforms cause these problems.
State a direct position in the introduction and make each body paragraph answer the prompt: one clear advantage of uniforms, one clear disadvantage, and a balanced final view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Basic paragraphing is present, but progression is uneven. Some examples, especially nursing and police abuse, are not clearly tied back to the argument, and the conclusion is too brief to synthesise the discussion.
Start each body paragraph with a precise topic sentence and end it with a sentence explaining why the example proves the point about uniforms.
Lexical Resource
There is some range, but many word choices are unnatural or inaccurate, such as 'dress their uniforms', 'dressing uniforms', and 'harmonious tandem'. These errors often make the argument sound unclear.
Use simpler, standard collocations: 'wear uniforms', 'professional appearance', 'team identity', 'misuse of authority', and 'public trust'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammar errors occur in tense, articles, sentence structure, and clause control. Meaning is usually recoverable, but errors reduce clarity and precision.
Prioritise verb patterns after 'require', article use before singular nouns, and simpler sentence boundaries when giving examples.