Nowadays it is more difficult for children to concentrate to pay attention in school. Discuss the causes and propose some solutions.
Sample Response
In today’s world, it has become harder for children to concentrate in the school and school environment, teachers’ behaviour, school administration and lack of interests in the study are some of the main reasons for that. In the following paragraphs, I would briefly discuss the main reasons for this problem and would propose some solutions to address this sensitive issue.
The school surroundings should be pleasant and should have a cool atmosphere. In the noisy environment, children cannot pay attention in the class periods. Apart from that, nowadays the schools are treating students in the wrong way. The faculties are giving them to remember the answers without actually doing the brainstorm and creative way of learning. The children just memorising it and write those in the exams. That sometimes brings frustration among the students.
Students have more fun stuff at home than they do have in schools. Like video games, computers, TV are more attractive and entertaining than studying in school. The teachers sometimes become harsh and that negatively affects the children’s thought. A proper environment is not ensured in many schools and students find it hard to study in a noisy and polluted environment. Very less interactive and interesting sessions are conducted by the school authority. Furthermore, very frequent exam schedules and pressure of study is another reason why students fear school. Teacher’s lack of knowledge and proper training sometimes makes them behave rudely. Alarmingly, the study has become more theoretical than practical and as a consequence, the students’ interest in academic subjects is declining.
Some of the proposed solutions to address this very frightening issue are suggested in the below paragraph. I believe being able to address this issue would be a great benefit for our future. School should be primarily a place for study but fun stuff should be present as well. Academic exams and classes should be scheduled in a way that gives the students that they are not being pressurised. Extra-curricular activities should be practised more. Frequent appreciation and prizes should be awarded to the students for their performance. E-learning and flexible class should be introduced. More practical aspects than theoretical aspects of education should be introduced.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Uncountable phrase lack of interest
- 2. Article use In a noisy environment
- 3. Verb pattern making them memorise
- 4. Wrong phrase thinking critically
- 5. Missing verb The children just memorise them and write them
- 6. Informal wording entertaining activities
- 7. Incorrect quantifier Very few interactive
- 8. Plural noun flexible classes should be introduced
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay addresses causes and solutions, but many points are listed quickly and not developed with clear explanation or examples.
Choose two main causes and two matching solutions, then explain each with cause, effect, and a practical example.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is basic paragraphing, but progression is uneven and the final solutions paragraph becomes a list.
Organise the essay into cause one, cause two, solution one, solution two, with clear links between each problem and solution.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is understandable but often repetitive or imprecise, with several unnatural phrases.
Replace vague words like fun stuff and frightening issue with precise academic language such as digital distractions and serious educational concern.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence structure, articles, verb forms, and word choice reduce clarity, although the main message is usually understandable.
Practise rewriting long ideas as shorter accurate sentences before combining them.