Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Correction

Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries. While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?

Sample Response

In the recent years, there has been a vast increase in the number of students going abroad to pursue their studies. While studying abroad appears to be an appealing option for many, it is argued that studying abroad does not come without a number of drawbacks. Apropos of the statement, I am in consummate accord with it. One of the advantages of studying abroad is that students will be allowed to learn to live independently as family and relatives are far away and will not be available to aid and abet them if problems arise. Thus, they will learn to settle the problems by themselves while at the same time growing as an independent individual. Furthermore, students studying abroad will be constantly exposed to a second language and hence, will be proficient in the language if given enough time. Also, it might serve as a useful ability for prospective careers in their future. However, some disadvantages that stem from studying abroad are not to be overlooked. For instance, without a grant of scholarship, students of less affluent families might deem the living cost and school fee too expensive comparing to studying in one’s local universities. Moreover, students who are not serious about pursuing their studies and are only interested in the excitement living abroad can offer them will have put in their money and invested their time ineffectively and fruitlessly. To conclude, I believe that studying abroad doesn't come without drawbacks. However, with enough effort put in and serious commitment, it will bring many benefits to individual students.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Article error In recent years
  • 2. Over-formal phrase Regarding this statement
  • 3. Unnatural opinion phrase I agree with it
  • 4. Concise verb phrase can learn to live independently
  • 5. Avoid repetition family members
  • 6. Wrong legal idiom support them
  • 7. Wrong collocation solve problems
  • 8. Parallel verb form at the same time grow
Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.

TR

Task Response

6.0
Feedback

The essay addresses both benefits and drawbacks and gives a final view, but the position is not fully aligned with the agree/disagree wording. Development is quite brief, especially for disadvantages, and examples are general.

Next step

State clearly whether you agree that studying abroad has disadvantages, then explain whether the benefits outweigh them or not.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

5.5
Feedback

The response has logical sequencing, but it is written as one paragraph and relies on simple transitions. This reduces clarity even though the ideas are mostly connected.

Next step

Use four paragraphs and make the contrast between benefits and disadvantages visually clear.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Feedback

There is some higher-level vocabulary, but several choices are unnatural or over-formal, such as 'Apropos', 'consummate accord', and 'aid and abet'. Word choice sometimes distracts from meaning.

Next step

Use accurate academic phrasing over memorised expressions: 'I agree with this view', 'support them', 'solve problems', and 'living abroad'.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Feedback

Sentence control is generally adequate, but long sentences contain clause and preposition errors. Meaning is usually clear, with some awkward patterns around comparison and relative clauses.

Next step

Shorten long sentences and check verb patterns after 'learn to', 'serve as', and 'compared with'.