Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Correction

Should state museums charge visiting fees or that should be completely free? What is your viewpoint on this issue?

Sample Response

Globally, every museum charges its visitors for visiting the museums. It creates a difference between have and have not poor sentence formation. Everyone should be given an opportunity to know about his /her native country's culture. Moreover, more numbers of local people visit museums when we make an analogy to people who make special trips to visit them. So, in this way citizens of a nation could also share and understand the heritage of their homeland. Affordability to visit museums should not be hindered just because of financial hurdles. As a result of these museums could have both foreigners and locals visiting them. On the other hand, it is quite a difficult task for state museums to maintain and add collections for our cultural heritage. They would have to compete with other necessities of people like education, hospitals etc. for allocation of the budget provided by the government. State museums would face quite a lot of difficulties to renovate and add collections to existing nation's fortune. Moreover, the number of visitors could damage the property of museums. So, the number of visitors should be limited regarding the safety of years old collections of museums. This act is an obstacle for maintenance of museums. Hence, state museums are left with no option of neglecting to charge visitors for their visit. In summary, I believe something should be done for citizens of a country in order to recognise the heritage of this nation. Children should be allowed a free entry to museums besides adults should be charged for their visits. Nevertheless, financial factors should not play a dominant role for citizens to notice their homeland's fortune.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Unsupported absolute many museums charge visitors
  • 2. Unneeded article museums
  • 3. Wrong phrase the rich and the poor
  • 4. Remove draft note Delete
  • 5. Spacing his or her
  • 6. Natural quantity a larger number of local people
  • 7. Wrong collocation compare them with people
  • 8. Broken phrase As a result, these museums
Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.

TR

Task Response

6.0
Feedback

The response discusses both free access and the need for museum funding, and gives a compromise view, but some points are unclear or weakly supported.

Next step

State your compromise in the introduction and support it with concrete policy details, such as free entry for residents or children and fees for tourists.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

5.5
Feedback

There is a logical contrast, but the essay is one block and some sentences are inserted awkwardly, including an obvious stray phrase.

Next step

Use separate paragraphs and remove unrelated or drafting text that interrupts the argument.

LR

Lexical Resource

5.5
Feedback

Vocabulary is adequate for public services and heritage, but several expressions are unnatural or inaccurate.

Next step

Use clearer terms such as admission fees, public funding, maintenance costs, cultural heritage, and affordable access.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5
Feedback

Errors with articles, sentence boundaries, prepositions, and noun phrases occur throughout, though meaning is usually recoverable.

Next step

Revise sentence by sentence for complete clauses and natural noun groups.