Some consumers are increasingly choosing to buy goods that are produced in their local area, rather than imported goods. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative trend?
Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay Correction
Student Essay
Nowadays, more and more people prefer to buy products that are made in their local area instead of imported goods. There are several reasons for this change. In my opinion, this is a positive trend.
One reason is that people want to support local businesses. When they buy local products, they believe they are helping local companies and creating more jobs for people in their community. Another reason is that local goods are often fresher, especially food such as vegetables, fruit and meat. In addition, many people think local products are more environmentally friendly because they do not need to be transported over long distances.
I believe this is a positive development for several reasons. First, buying local products can improve the local economy. If local companies earn more money, they can employ more workers and develop better products. As a result, the whole community can benefit. Second, choosing local goods can reduce pollution from international transportation. Fewer ships, trucks and planes are needed to move products, which helps protect the environment.
However, buying only local products also has some disadvantages. Some imported goods may be cheaper or have better quality. In addition, consumers may have fewer choices if they only buy local products. Therefore, people should not completely stop buying imported goods.
In conclusion, people choose local products because they want to support local businesses, enjoy fresher goods and protect the environment. Although imported products still have some advantages, I believe that buying more local products is a positive trend overall.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Repetitive vocabulary immediate vicinity
- 2. Repetitive phrasing locally manufactured goods
- 3. Mechanical transition Furthermore,
- 4. More formal vocabulary fresh produce and livestock products
- 5. Basic linker Primarily,
- 6. Expand idea One primary driver behind this trend is a growing consumer desire to foster community resilience by supporting independent local businesses.
- 7. Use advanced conditional Should local enterprises generate higher revenues, they would be positioned to expand their workforce and invest in product development.
- 8. Repetitive Arguments In this paragraph, instead of repeating the economic and environmental points from Paragraph 1, focus on different aspects of why this is positive, such as cultural preservation, community cohesion, or the health benefits of consuming fresher food.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The candidate addresses both parts of the prompt (reasons for the trend and whether it is positive/negative) and presents a clear position. However, the development of ideas is slightly repetitive between the body paragraphs.
Avoid repeating the same arguments in the 'reasons' paragraph and the 'evaluation' paragraph. Instead, use the 'reasons' paragraph to explain motivations (e.g., freshness, community spirit) and the 'evaluation' paragraph to analyze broader systemic impacts (e.g., economic resilience, carbon footprint reduction).
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphing. Cohesive devices are used effectively, though some transitions are somewhat mechanical.
Vary cohesive devices and use more sophisticated linking phrases that show relationships between ideas rather than just listing them.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is accurate and appropriate for the topic, but there is a high level of repetition of key terms like 'local products' and 'local businesses'.
Use synonyms and paraphrasing to avoid repeating 'local' and 'products' so frequently. For example, use terms like 'domestically produced items', 'regional merchandise', or 'neighborhood vendors'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is highly accurate with almost no errors. However, the sentence structures are relatively simple and safe, which limits the score to a 7.0.
Incorporate more complex sentence structures, such as inversion, cleft sentences, or advanced relative clauses, to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.