Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Correction

Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sample Response

Nature has blessed both men and women with individual characters, which set them apart. All these different characteristics enable them to do different tasks according to their affinities. Due to this, some people opine that it would be best for both sexes to involve themselves in those tasks which suit their personality and skill sets. Others, however, think that both are equal and can do each other’s job as efficiently as they can do their own. Therefore, let us analyse the task from both perspectives in order to reach to a relevant conclusion. To begin with, it can be said that both males and females have an individual set of characteristics, which enables them to perform well in certain tasks. For example, women are considered exceptionally good at taking care of the household activities and bringing up the children. As most of the women are kind, loving and caring by nature, they are best suited for this job. What is more, they are also seen as worthy of the job of taking care of household activities due to their creativity and organisational skills. Similarly, men also have some special traits attached with their personality. For instance, men are deemed to be strong, confident and decisive. These qualities make it possible for them to give excellent performance in areas such as earning bread and butter for the home and making decisions for the family. Apart from that, they can also support their families in emotional as well as security matters. However, even though both genders are best suited for the jobs mentioned above, we cannot ignore the changing trends, which are taking place in modern world. Nowadays, with the spread of education and equal rights, more and more women are breaking the barriers of their home in order to work outside. They can be seen placed at several important positions, from doctors to politicians and they are also performing better than the expectations of most of the people. In the same way, men are also indulging themselves in household tasks by looking after their children and doing household chores. Therefore, it cannot be said that both of the genders are best suitable to do only one type of work. Women are performing well in professions like teaching, nursing, marketing and those kinds of jobs suits their natural talents and skills. On the other hand, men can work in a crowd and in places where physical labour is required. In the ultimate analysis, it can be said that both men and women have been separated with individual qualities facilitating them with abilities to do several tasks. But, by looking at the current norms, it will be wrong to think that they cannot do each other’s job.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Wrong noun individual characteristics
  • 2. Clearer wording according to their abilities
  • 3. Concise relative clause tasks that suit
  • 4. Plural form can do one another's jobs
  • 5. Verb pattern reach a relevant conclusion
  • 6. Agreement issue individual sets of characteristics, which enable
  • 7. General plural most women
  • 8. Natural phrase raising children
Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.

TR

Task Response

6.5
Feedback

The essay addresses the issue and reaches a broadly clear view that jobs should not be restricted by gender. However, the argument spends too long repeating stereotypes before qualifying them, so the position is not consistently developed.

Next step

State your disagreement more clearly in the introduction and use the first body paragraph to discuss perceived differences without presenting stereotypes as facts.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Feedback

There is a logical overall progression from one view to the modern counterview, but paragraphing is absent in the prompt text and some transitions are formulaic.

Next step

Use clear paragraphs and make each topic sentence show whether it supports or challenges the idea of gender-specific jobs.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Feedback

Vocabulary range is adequate and sometimes flexible, but there are awkward collocations such as 'individual characters', 'earning bread and butter', and 'indulging themselves'.

Next step

Prefer precise academic vocabulary: 'characteristics', 'abilities', 'domestic work', 'paid employment', and 'traditional gender roles'.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Feedback

Complex sentences are attempted, but errors in agreement, prepositions, articles, and comparison forms occur regularly. Meaning remains mostly clear.

Next step

Check plural agreement and fixed patterns such as 'associated with', 'suitable for', and 'in the modern world'.