It is said that day-by-day people’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What are the reasons behind that? What can be done to solve this problem?
Sample Response
It is believed that lives are getting more stressful as days pass by. This essay will discuss its causes as well as measures that can be employed to alleviate this problem. One reason why lives seem to cause more frustration is that work is even more demanding nowadays. People might be required to work longer hours. Not to mention that technology has made it increasingly harder for people to stop thinking about their jobs even when they are at home. As such, they might not have enough time to relax properly. Secondly, both spouses are more likely to be working due to higher living costs. This means that they have to juggle their careers with household chores, making them busier than ever. Unfortunately, they might struggle to do both works and in turn, put more strain on them. It is therefore, crucial for people to take some actions to counter stress. Firstly, they should take a day off at least once a week to unwind. This is to ensure that their stress level can be somewhat lowered. After all, constant strain on the body and mind might eventually take its toll on people's wellbeing. Furthermore, they should pursue their hobbies no matter how busy they are. This is because hobbies are proven to be effective in combatting stress and providing relief from mundane lives. Thus, they are likely to recharge their energy and refresh their mind by doing their favourite pastimes. For example, listening to music is considered to have the benefit of reducing stress. In conclusion, there are two reasons as to why lives seem to be increasingly stressful. Even so, there are some means of combatting this issue to live a happier and stress-free life.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Imprecise phrase Original: lives are getting more stressful Suggested revision: people's lives are becoming more stressful Why it matters: The revised phrase makes the human subject clearer.
- 2. Informal phrasing Original: as days pass by Suggested revision: over time Why it matters: Over time is more concise and academic.
- 3. Unclear subject Original: lives seem to cause more frustration Suggested revision: modern life seems to create more pressure Why it matters: Lives do not cause frustration; conditions in modern life do.
- 4. Overgeneral wording Original: both spouses are more likely to be working Suggested revision: both partners are more likely to work Why it matters: Partners is more general and the simpler verb form is cleaner.
- 5. Wrong noun form Original: both works Suggested revision: both responsibilities Why it matters: Works is not natural here; the sentence means two responsibilities.
- 6. Vague reference Original: put more strain on them Suggested revision: put more strain on families Why it matters: Naming the affected group makes the meaning clearer.
- 7. Collocation error Original: take some actions Suggested revision: take action Why it matters: Take action is the usual fixed phrase.
- 8. Comma placement Original: It is therefore, crucial Suggested revision: It is therefore crucial Why it matters: Do not place a comma after therefore in this structure.
- 9. Plural reference Original: stress level Suggested revision: stress levels Why it matters: The sentence refers to people generally, so the plural is more natural.
- 10. Formal alternative Original: combatting stress Suggested revision: reducing stress Why it matters: Reducing stress is simpler and more natural in this context.
- 11. Awkward phrase Original: mundane lives Suggested revision: daily routines Why it matters: Daily routines better fits the idea of ordinary life.
- 12. Number agreement Original: refresh their mind Suggested revision: refresh their minds Why it matters: People generally have separate minds, so the plural is needed.
Suggested Rewrites
- lives are getting more stressful people's lives are becoming more stressful
- as days pass by over time
- lives seem to cause more frustration modern life seems to create more pressure
- both spouses are more likely to be working both partners are more likely to work
- both works both responsibilities
- put more strain on them put more strain on families
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response clearly answers both parts of the question, giving two causes of stress and two practical solutions. The ideas are relevant and developed with explanation, although the solutions remain fairly individual-focused and could include workplace or social measures.
Add one broader solution, such as employer limits on after-hours communication or affordable childcare, to match the causes more directly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically from causes to solutions and then conclusion, but it is written as one long paragraph. Cohesive devices are generally clear, yet paragraphing would make the structure much easier to follow.
Use four paragraphs: introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion, with a topic sentence at the start of each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and mostly natural, with phrases such as demanding, alleviate, juggle their careers, unwind, wellbeing, and recharge their energy. Some expressions are less precise, including lives seem to cause more frustration, both works, and mundane lives.
Replace broad words with precise phrases such as modern life is more stressful, manage both responsibilities, and daily routines.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally accurate, and the essay uses a range of complex sentences. There are still occasional problems with word form, plural reference, punctuation around therefore, and awkward noun phrases, but they rarely impede meaning.
Proofread for countable nouns and sentence-level punctuation, especially around linking adverbs such as therefore.