It is said that day-by-day people’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What are the reasons behind that? What can be done to solve this problem?
Sample Response
Today, human's lifestyle has become more complicated than ever before. A variety of factors has been implicated for this, however, I believe that traffic congestion and job competition are two leading reasons, and the government should consider two solutions to tackle them. To begin with, traffic jam has intensified the level of stress in cities. Increasing the number of vehicles in urban, the level of noise pollution has been increased fundamentally. In this case, in Tehran, the capital city of Iran, the number of private cars has doubled each two years since last decade, reaching over five million vehicles and leading the citizens to be annoyed more by loud noises created by them. To address this issue, governments should encourage dwellers to use safer vehicles, including bicycles, instead of private cars, reducing the bad traffic, especially in the central areas of cities. Another factor is that the level of competition between people has considerably been increased. Definitely, to find their favourable jobs, applicants have to achieve more qualifications and experience than the past. They have to study longer years to achieve the needed certifications to apply and surpass other rivals. For instance, now an electric engineer should be familiar with not only computer software, but with new communication systems; therefore, they have to study longer time at college or university, even nearly four years, to obtain the required certification. As a result, they will have a more stressful life to pass exams or pay tuitions. To solve it, administrations should help inhabitants financially more to be able to pay tuition with less stress, and create more job positions to subside the level of competition between them. In conclusion, traffic and job competition are two leading reasons that have caused individuals to have more challenging in their life. I think state authorities should consider some practical plans which encourage people to use less their private cars and assist them to be able to have less anxiety during their study or searching for jobs.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: human's lifestyle Suggested revision: human lifestyles Why it matters: The sentence refers to people's lifestyles generally, so the plural form is needed.
- 2. Fix agreement Original: A variety of factors has been implicated Suggested revision: A variety of factors have contributed Why it matters: The plural noun "factors" takes a plural verb, and "contributed" is more natural here.
- 3. Use general term Original: traffic jam has intensified Suggested revision: traffic congestion has intensified Why it matters: "Traffic congestion" is the more formal general noun phrase.
- 4. Repair clause Original: Increasing the number of vehicles in urban Suggested revision: As the number of vehicles in urban areas has increased Why it matters: The original phrase is missing a clear grammatical structure and noun.
- 5. Use time phrase Original: each two years since last decade Suggested revision: every two years over the last decade Why it matters: This is the natural way to express the repeated time period.
- 6. Use natural noun Original: dwellers Suggested revision: residents Why it matters: "Dwellers" sounds unnatural in this policy context.
- 7. Clarify solution Original: safer vehicles Suggested revision: more sustainable forms of transport Why it matters: Bicycles reduce congestion and pollution, but "safer vehicles" does not express that clearly.
- 8. Use active form Original: has considerably been increased Suggested revision: has increased considerably Why it matters: The passive form is unnecessary and awkward.
- 9. Use natural phrase Original: favourable jobs Suggested revision: desired jobs Why it matters: People usually look for desired or preferred jobs, not favourable jobs.
- 10. Add preposition Original: than the past Suggested revision: than in the past Why it matters: The comparison needs "in" before the time phrase.
- 11. Use correct noun Original: pay tuitions Suggested revision: pay tuition fees Why it matters: The uncountable noun "tuition" needs "fees" in this context.
- 12. Use correct verb Original: subside the level of competition Suggested revision: reduce the level of competition Why it matters: "Subside" is usually intransitive; it does not take this object naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- human's lifestyle human lifestyles
- A variety of factors has been implicated A variety of factors have contributed
- traffic jam has intensified traffic congestion has intensified
- Increasing the number of vehicles in urban As the number of vehicles in urban areas has increased
- each two years since last decade every two years over the last decade
- dwellers residents
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay answers both parts of the question by identifying traffic congestion and job competition, then proposing transport and employment or education support measures. Ideas are relevant and extended, although some solutions are only partly realistic or not fully linked to the stated cause.
For each cause, explain the exact stress mechanism and then give one practical solution that directly reduces that source of stress.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has clear progression from introduction to two main causes and solutions, followed by a conclusion. Cohesion is generally effective, but very long sentences and repeated references to levels weaken control.
Split each body paragraph into cause, example, and solution moves so the reader can follow the reasoning without overloaded sentences.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is adequate for the topic, with terms such as traffic congestion, job competition, qualifications, and anxiety. There are several unnatural collocations, such as dwellers, safer vehicles, favourable jobs, and subside the level.
Use common academic collocations such as "urban residents", "public transport", "desired jobs", "tuition fees", and "reduce competition".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts complex structures and meaning is mostly clear. Errors with agreement, articles, word order, comparatives, and noun forms are frequent enough to limit accuracy.
Check subject-verb agreement and word order in every sentence that begins with a long introductory phrase.