Some people feel that in order to improve the quality of our education we should encourage high school students to evaluate and criticise their teachers. Others feel that it will cause the loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Which one do you support? What's your viewpoint?
Sample Response
Nowadays, in some high schools scholars are allowed to blame their tutors for their method of teaching. Some say that this strategy can improve the quality of training; however, others, including myself, believe that its advantages outweigh the benefits being earned from this system because teaching will become less effective, the rate of offence will increase and more budgets will be needed for education.
Obviously, I give a green light to those believing that students should not be involved in teaching because of three important reasons. One is that following this method, the quality of education can drop. Definitely, rules are extremely important for controlling of students because many of them do not have enough experience about teaching, reducing the educational performance thoroughly. For example, had our principal allowed us to give our opinion about practical physic lessons, we would not have learned the detail of them. We understood that our physic trainer had been one of the best ones in this course; however, had we allowed to have challenges with him, we would have missed him.
Another reason behind it is that the rate of violence can increase markedly. Students feel more freedom in other aspects of their life when their opinions are valued in this area, and their behaviours will become less controllable. This group can become more aggressive in the workplace, university or even in their relations to other citizens. However, when they face some restrictions during this stage in their life, they become more probable law-abiding citizens.
Lastly, the cost of education can increase. Admittedly, this method of education will become more costly because students always consider the quality of teaching, while the expenses must be included in the new changes. For instance, if an instructor, having one-year training contract, is banned by students to teach them, he will receive the total salary. Authorities usually consider all aspects of education, including finance, and budget.
In conclusion, although some people might agree that students’ opinions should be valued by authorities, I personally believe that this is not a perfect method. Having a better control by the administration, the rate of violation among students and education expenses will decrease, and authorities will have a better control on the efficacy of training system.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use neutral task words Original: scholars are allowed to blame their tutors Suggested revision: students are allowed to evaluate their teachers Why it matters: The task is about evaluation and criticism, not simply blaming tutors.
- 2. Fix meaning Original: advantages outweigh the benefits Suggested revision: disadvantages outweigh the benefits Why it matters: The writer opposes the policy, so the phrase should refer to disadvantages.
- 3. Use formal tone Original: give a green light Suggested revision: agree with Why it matters: The idiom is too informal and unclear in this academic context.
- 4. Use direct noun phrase Original: controlling of students Suggested revision: controlling students Why it matters: The gerund does not need "of" here.
- 5. Fix preposition Original: experience about teaching Suggested revision: experience in teaching Why it matters: The natural collocation is "experience in" a field.
- 6. Use subject name Original: physic lessons Suggested revision: physics lessons Why it matters: The school subject is "physics".
- 7. Clarify object Original: detail of them Suggested revision: details of the lessons Why it matters: The pronoun reference is vague and the noun should be plural.
- 8. Fix passive conditional Original: had we allowed to have challenges with him Suggested revision: had we been allowed to challenge him Why it matters: The conditional passive form requires "been allowed".
- 9. Use school term Original: rate of violence Suggested revision: rate of misconduct Why it matters: The paragraph discusses discipline broadly, not only physical violence.
- 10. Use natural phrase Original: more probable law-abiding citizens Suggested revision: more likely to become law-abiding citizens Why it matters: This is the natural way to express probability with people.
- 11. Fix passive pattern Original: banned by students to teach them Suggested revision: prevented by students from teaching them Why it matters: The verb pattern should be "prevented from".
- 12. Remove article Original: Having a better control Suggested revision: With better control Why it matters: "Control" is uncountable here, and the phrase needs a clearer preposition.
Suggested Rewrites
- scholars are allowed to blame their tutors students are allowed to evaluate their teachers
- advantages outweigh the benefits disadvantages outweigh the benefits
- give a green light agree with
- controlling of students controlling students
- experience about teaching experience in teaching
- physic lessons physics lessons
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay presents a clear view against allowing high school students to evaluate or criticize teachers and gives three reasons. However, it partly misrepresents evaluation as blame or control, and some arguments about violence and future citizenship are not convincingly connected to teacher feedback.
Address the real proposal more directly: explain why student feedback might help, then argue why safeguards are needed or why teacher evaluation should be handled by professionals.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing and a visible sequence of three reasons. Cohesion is weakened by awkward transitions, overgeneralized claims, and some examples that do not connect smoothly to the topic sentence.
Make each body paragraph follow the same logic: claim, reason, example, and link back to classroom respect and education quality.
Lexical Resource
The essay attempts a range of vocabulary, but many word choices are inaccurate or unnatural, including scholars, blame their tutors, green light, offence, and violation. These errors reduce precision and tone.
Use neutral education vocabulary such as "students", "evaluate", "teachers", "feedback", "discipline", "misconduct", and "school administration".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are attempts at complex grammar, including conditionals, but errors with articles, passive forms, prepositions, and clause structure are frequent. Meaning is usually understandable but sometimes strained.
Simplify conditionals and passive clauses, then check whether every clause has a clear subject and verb.