The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. Given time, technology will completely replace the traditional teacher in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Sample Response
Technology has advanced tremendously and significantly in the last century. This progression is conspicuous in a school-room today. Although some opine that, this technology trend will replace the classic teacher's role, I strongly believe that the position of standard instructor at essence in the educational process. This will be proven by analysing how the teachers are able to cater students' requirements, as well as, catalyse and discipline them. It is agreed that for comprehension aim the ability of selective explanation at paramount importance for various pupils. For instance, students are diverse of their assimilation degree, and the skilled instructor who is capable of fulfilling these varieties of learners need in form of rephrasing or simplifying his conception. Obviously, the computer-based teacher is not aimed at that humankind unique task. Thus, these new devices are not ideal to dismiss the human participation in teaching procedure.
In addition, motivation and discipline are critical keystones in the educational procedure. This is certainly true in dealing with children who need sensitive approaches to fortify their perceptions and skills. In contrary, the computer-based course is directed to implement in a constant non-interactive procedure. Therefore, human instructors could not be replaced fruitfully with advanced apparatus.
To put it in a nutshell, though contemporary modern technology has a significant influence on our life, I personally believe that the essence role cannot be simply replaced or subtract in favour of computerised lifestyle. However, we should utilise this equipment in order to reinforce the teacher's contribution in the educational progression.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Modern spelling classroom
- 2. Remove comma opine that this technology trend
- 3. Natural phrase traditional teacher's role
- 4. Unclear structure the role of the traditional instructor is essential
- 5. Verb pattern cater to students' needs
- 6. Comma error as well as catalyse
- 7. Unnatural phrase for comprehension
- 8. Missing verb the ability to give selective explanations is of paramount importance
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response gives a clear disagreement and presents relevant reasons: teachers adapt explanations and provide motivation/discipline. However, support is limited and examples are thin, so the argument is not fully developed.
Add one concrete classroom example for each reason and briefly acknowledge what technology can do before explaining why it cannot fully replace teachers.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is basic paragraphing and a logical sequence, but cohesion is sometimes awkward and repetitive. Some sentences are hard to follow because linking language is misused.
Use clearer topic sentences and simpler transitions such as 'First', 'Another reason', and 'However'.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary range is attempted, but many choices are unnatural or inaccurate: 'standard instructor at essence', 'comprehension aim', 'humankind unique task', and 'advanced apparatus'.
Prioritise natural academic vocabulary over unusual synonyms: 'human teacher', 'essential role', 'individual learning needs', and 'educational technology'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammar errors occur in articles, prepositions, sentence structure, and verb forms. Meaning is sometimes strained, especially in long complex sentences.
Write shorter sentences with clear subject-verb-object structure, then add one controlled subordinate clause where needed.