In recent years some countries have experienced very rapid economic development. This has resulted in much higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the country sides. This situation may bring some problems for the country as a whole. What are these problems? How might they be reduced?
Sample Response
A number of countries have experienced quick economic progress recently and that in return has improved the living standards of citizens. According to some, this development has improved the city life but did almost nothing for the rural area. So the gap, in terms of economic growth, between the urban and rural areas actually hampered the overall improvement of a country. Many issues have emerged because of this discrimination that we will discuss shortly. On the other hand, different strategies and solutions can be implemented to overcome the problems which have caused by the inequality of development between cities and villages. Many cities of the world are enjoying an ever increasing economic and trade facilities. Besides, there are plenty of activities to create new infrastructure such as roads, hospitals, schools, and parks in city areas which improve the lifestyle of city dwellers. Similarly, more businesses and more job opportunities are being created in the cities. But, studies show that progress in country sides are very slow and many such rural areas do not even have basic infrastructure and job facilities. This results in the migration of people from rural areas to cities for better living. As a result, cities are also facing issues like overpopulation and pollution. Overpopulation in a city adds pressures on existing facilities like transport, education, health, and recreational places. For the same reason, there is an increase in the air, water, and noise pollution of cities that receive an influx of migrants from rural areas. The overall development of a country depends on a balanced development both in cities and rural areas and that is why developments of rural areas are also required. In order to tackle issues mentioned above, both the government and private sectors need to work together. First, they need to start constructing a strong network of road and transportation that will connect rural areas to urban areas. Thus goods and other materials can be transported efficiently and the economy and trade would flourish more. Second, the government should give subsidy to business people to establish factories and industries in the rural areas. This will create more job opportunities at the footstep of villagers, and thus improve their living standards. Thirdly, banks should give easy loans to farmers to invest in the crops and get better yield at the time of harvest. Above all, more facilities such as colleges, hospitals and playgrounds should be created in rural areas so people living there do not need to migrate to a city for a better living. To conclude, it is evident that world’s cities have gone through a rapid progression in terms of trade and development but that was not shared at same ratio with country sides. This contributed to many major metropolitan problems. But, these problems can be reduced to a greater extent, when both the government and private sectors make effort to divide funds and facilities between cities and villages.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. More formal phrase Original: quick economic progress recently Suggested revision: rapid economic development in recent years Why it matters: The wording is understandable but less natural than the task language.
- 2. Cause wording Original: in return has improved Suggested revision: has in turn improved Why it matters: This creates a smoother cause-and-effect link.
- 3. Natural phrase Original: the city life Suggested revision: life in cities Why it matters: The article and noun phrase sound unnatural.
- 4. Tense consistency Original: did almost nothing Suggested revision: has done almost nothing Why it matters: Present perfect fits the recent-development timeframe.
- 5. General plural Original: the rural area Suggested revision: rural areas Why it matters: The essay is discussing rural areas generally.
- 6. Verb tense Original: actually hampered Suggested revision: has hampered Why it matters: Present perfect better connects the past development with present effects.
- 7. Wrong word choice Original: because of this discrimination Suggested revision: because of this inequality Why it matters: Discrimination usually refers to unfair treatment of people, not uneven development.
- 8. Avoid announcement Original: that we will discuss shortly Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The essay should present the problem directly rather than announce discussion.
- 9. Linking mismatch Original: On the other hand Suggested revision: At the same time Why it matters: This sentence adds another point, not a contrast.
- 10. Passive form Original: which have caused Suggested revision: which have been caused Why it matters: The passive verb needs been before caused.
- 11. Article agreement Original: an ever increasing economic and trade facilities Suggested revision: ever-increasing economic and trade facilities Why it matters: The article an cannot modify a plural noun phrase.
- 12. Natural collocation Original: in city areas Suggested revision: in urban areas Why it matters: Urban areas is the more precise term for this topic.
Suggested Rewrites
- quick economic progress recently rapid economic development in recent years
- in return has improved has in turn improved
- the city life life in cities
- did almost nothing has done almost nothing
- the rural area rural areas
- actually hampered has hampered
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response fully addresses both problems and solutions, with relevant ideas about migration, urban pressure, infrastructure, jobs, and rural services. Some points remain general rather than strongly exemplified.
Add one concrete example or consequence for each main problem and link each proposed solution directly back to that problem.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically from the issue to causes and solutions, but it is presented as one long paragraph and some linking phrases are mechanical.
Use clear paragraph breaks for introduction, problems, solutions, and conclusion, and replace template transitions with more precise links.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally flexible enough for the topic, with useful terms such as infrastructure, migration, and pollution. Collocation errors and awkward word choices reduce precision.
Revise repeated or unnatural phrases such as country sides, footstep of villagers, and economic and trade facilities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is attempted and meaning is clear, but agreement, articles, and passive structures are frequently inaccurate.
Check subject-verb agreement and missing articles in every sentence before expanding ideas further.