In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Today, many urban plannerscity developers always try to consider each part of the city for an individual purposefor individual purpose. While some locations might be appropriate for education, other areas can be suitablethe other one can be suitable to for residential usebe residential areas. I personally agree with this method, although it might have had some drawbacks.
On the one hand, separating city functionsconsidering this plan by the city planners can have some negative consequences. One is that it can increaseenhance traffic congestion inside citiesinside of cities. For instance, those students living in peripheral areas have to travel several kilometres each day to reach their school, being mainly constructed in city centresin the central of cities; therefore, the number of commuters may escalate dramatically. Another reason behind it is that people living in rural areas have less access to appropriate facilities. For example, if they like to purchase furniture for their home, they cannot find them in small local shopsthe small retailers near their home. They have to spend hundreds of dollars for their transportation, while dwellers living in sprawling cities have better accesshave a better access to these items.
On the other hand, having this plan in urban areas, I believe that it will avoid overpopulation in specific locations. One important factor is that the more factories are moved to suburbansuburb areas, the more workers prefer to live near them, instead of living in the central of cities. In particular, in Tehran, the capital city of Iran, if the government had not permittedhad not the government permitted large companies to operate in the centrehave a function in the centre, more citizens would have moved to live in the countryside, leading them to face fewer overpopulation problemsfaceless the overpopulation problems. Furthermore, it can decrease the level of pollution in cities. Obviously, the more shops or offices operate in cities, the more they pollute the environment. As a result, in many countries, governments have considered specific regions for these markets. In this case, in Vancouver, the government of BC has considered a huge place for shops near the airport, which is located outside of the metropolitan zone. This will reduce the pollution caused by these businesses significantlyfar significantly.
In conclusion, although some may agree that each region should not be allocated for specific purposes, I completely agree with it. This can not only reduceThis not only can reduce the density of population but the amount of pollution in the central urban areascentral areas of urban.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and considers both the benefits and drawbacks of separating urban functions, using relevant topic vocabulary and a logical paragraph structure. However, several examples and references are unclear, while frequent grammatical and collocational problems weaken precision; the main priority is to make the comparison behind the final judgement explicit and express each supporting example in clearer, more controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear opinion and discusses both disadvantages and advantages of separating city functions. Ideas are relevant, but the final judgement is not fully weighed because some examples are unclear or only loosely connected to the policy.
Make the outweigh judgement explicit by comparing the scale of the benefits with the stated traffic and access problems.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and there is a clear contrast between disadvantages and advantages. Cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and some sentences contain unclear references that interrupt the flow.
Use fewer formulaic connectors and make pronouns such as it and this refer to a clear noun.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses topic vocabulary such as traffic congestion, commuters, facilities, overpopulation, and metropolitan zone. However, collocation errors and awkward word choices reduce precision.
Replace literal or incorrect phrases with natural urban-planning collocations, such as residential areas, city centres, suburbs, and reduce pollution significantly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but frequent errors with articles, prepositions, word order, and clause structure affect clarity in several places.
Edit each long sentence by identifying the subject, main verb, and object before adding subordinate clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.