People generally know that the environment is important. However, most individuals still do not take responsibility to protect the environment. Why is this? What should be done to encourage people to protect the environment?
Sample Response
Ever since we realised our power to harness nature, we have started utilising it to make our life comfortable and more convenient. However, we then began to over-utilise this authority and damage nature to an extent that is catastrophic. Global warming and environmental pollution are threatening our very existence on this planet, but we are neglecting our obligations to protect the environment. This is primarily because we fail to realise the real consequences of it and believe that it can be dealt with in the future. Hopefully, we still can deal with it with proper measures.
The first reason for this is our incompetency to understand the dire consequences of climate change. Despite frequent headlines on TV and in newspapers all over the world, for instance, we are still oblivious to the fate of the world. We work hard to save some money to build a house or have a car in the future, but we cannot fathom how many parts of the world would become unlivable due to global warming and environmental pollution.
Another reason we are indifferent towards environmental degradation is our false confidence that it could be dealt with in the future. As a result, we are more concerned about solving more immediate problems such as housing shortages or traffic congestion than preventing the disaster that is only predicted to happen in the future. For instance, many individuals still believe that the rate of environmental degradation and global warming is not as severe as they are reported in the media, and technology that we will develop in the future would control it easily.
These beliefs and attitudes are obviously mistaken and we need to act now to control the damage. The youngsters must be taught their obligations to preserve nature in schools and encouraged to plant more trees. Besides, the government should adopt strict laws that would prohibit citizens from using disposable goods that are harmful to the environment. Finally, the government can encourage people to make the environment greener by offering tax incentives and other benefits.
To conclude, if we do not want to make our mother planet an unhabitable and barren place, we need to concede the real danger of climate change and act prudently to save it for us and our future generations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural pronoun “our” refers to the lives of multiple people.
- 2. Choose accurate wording Original: over-utilise this authority Suggested revision: overuse this power Why it matters: “Authority” does not naturally describe humanity’s capacity to exploit nature.
- 3. Tighten the expression Original: to an extent that is catastrophic Suggested revision: to a catastrophic extent Why it matters: The concise prepositional phrase expresses the same degree more naturally.
- 4. Clarify the reference Original: real consequences of it Suggested revision: real consequences of this damage Why it matters: Replacing the vague pronoun makes the cause of the consequences explicit.
- 5. Use natural noun Original: incompetency Suggested revision: inability Why it matters: “Inability” is the natural noun for a failure to understand something.
- 6. Use correct medium term Original: headlines Suggested revision: reports Why it matters: Television presents news reports, whereas “headlines” primarily names brief titles.
- 7. Maintain present timeframe Original: could Suggested revision: can Why it matters: Present-tense “can” matches the current belief introduced by “is.”
- 8. Fix comparison clause Original: not as severe as they are reported in the media Suggested revision: not as severe as the media reports Why it matters: The active clause correctly completes the comparison without the faulty passive construction.
- 9. Clarify tense and reference Original: technology that we will develop in the future would control it easily Suggested revision: future technology will control these problems easily Why it matters: The revision aligns the future tense and replaces the vague singular pronoun with a clear plural reference.
- 10. Remove generic article Original: The youngsters Suggested revision: Young people Why it matters: A general reference to young people does not take the definite article here.
- 11. Use standard form Original: unhabitable Suggested revision: uninhabitable Why it matters: “Uninhabitable” is the standard and more widely accepted form in formal writing.
- 12. Correct verb choice Original: concede Suggested revision: acknowledge Why it matters: “Acknowledge” naturally means recognizing the reality of a danger.
Suggested Rewrites
- life lives
- over-utilise this authority overuse this power
- to an extent that is catastrophic to a catastrophic extent
- real consequences of it real consequences of this damage
- incompetency inability
- headlines reports
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response answers both questions directly, with a particularly clear explanation of why people postpone environmental responsibility and a logical progression from causes to remedies. The proposed measures are relevant but are presented more briefly than the causes, while several ambitious word choices create awkward or inaccurate phrasing. The priority is to explain how each proposed measure would change behaviour and replace imprecise expressions with natural collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both causes and solutions are relevant and clear, though the remedy section is less fully developed than the discussion of causes.
Extend each proposed measure by explaining the mechanism through which it would motivate lasting individual action.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced clearly from the problem's causes to solutions, with well-managed paragraphs and cohesive progression.
Refine a few internal links so examples attach even more directly to the precise claim they support.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a broad environmental vocabulary, but some ambitious choices are unnatural or semantically imprecise.
Prefer natural formulations such as 'failure to understand,' 'recognise the danger,' and 'make life more comfortable.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex sentences is handled accurately overall, with a few local errors that do not impede meaning.
Polish comparison and reference structures, especially constructions such as 'not as severe as it is reported to be.'
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
People generally know that the environment is important. However, most individuals still do not take responsibility to protect the environment. Why is this? What should be done to encourage people to protect the environment?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.