Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some people believe that children should focus more on the literature of their own country rather than foreign works. While it is true that local literature has many benefits, I believe that children should also be exposed to literature from other countries.
Firstly, learning about the literature of their own country helps children understand their history and culture. For example, poems and stories about important historical events teach children about the past and help them appreciate their heritage. Without studying local literature, students may have little knowledge of their own society.
However, it is also important for children to read foreign literature. Books from other countries introduce new ideas and perspectives that they might not find in local works. This broadens their knowledge of the world and helps them develop tolerance and curiosity about different cultures. Moreover, foreign literature can make learning more interesting and motivating, especially if local literature feels repetitive or difficult.
In conclusion, I believe that while local literature is important, foreign works should also be included in the curriculum. A balanced approach ensures that children learn about their own culture while gaining knowledge about the wider world.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the reference Original: understand their history and culture Suggested revision: understand their country's history and culture Why it matters: Naming the country directly removes ambiguity about whose history and culture is meant.
- 2. Use parallel prepositions Original: develop tolerance and curiosity about different cultures Suggested revision: develop tolerance for and curiosity about different cultures Why it matters: The coordinated nouns require their appropriate prepositions: tolerance for and curiosity about.
- 3. Sharpen the comparison Original: focus more on the literature of their own country rather than foreign works Suggested revision: give greater emphasis to their own country's literature than to foreign works Why it matters: The revision makes the two objects of comparison more direct and parallel.
- 4. Use a concise concession Original: While it is true that Suggested revision: Although Why it matters: A single concessive conjunction creates the same relationship more concisely.
- 5. Use a precise verb Original: has many benefits Suggested revision: offers significant benefits Why it matters: Offers is a stronger collocation for describing the advantages of studying literature.
- 6. Choose a direct verb Original: also be exposed to literature Suggested revision: also study literature Why it matters: Study states the children's active engagement with foreign literature more directly.
- 7. Use a lighter sequencer Original: Firstly Suggested revision: First Why it matters: First introduces the initial reason naturally without sounding formulaic.
- 8. Specify cultural heritage Original: appreciate their heritage Suggested revision: value their cultural heritage Why it matters: Cultural makes the connection to national literature more explicit.
- 9. Express limited understanding Original: little knowledge of their own society Suggested revision: a limited understanding of their own society Why it matters: Understanding better captures the deeper cultural learning described in the paragraph.
- 10. Balance the two sides Original: However Suggested revision: At the same time Why it matters: This transition presents the second educational benefit as complementary rather than contradictory.
- 11. Use inclusive wording Original: children to read foreign literature Suggested revision: children to read literature from other cultures Why it matters: The revision describes the material precisely and avoids the broad label foreign.
- 12. Clarify what is new Original: new Suggested revision: unfamiliar Why it matters: Unfamiliar makes clear that the ideas are new from the learners' point of view.
Suggested Rewrites
- understand their history and culture understand their country's history and culture
- develop tolerance and curiosity about different cultures develop tolerance for and curiosity about different cultures
- focus more on the literature of their own country rather than foreign works give greater emphasis to their own country's literature than to foreign works
- While it is true that Although
- has many benefits offers significant benefits
- also be exposed to literature also study literature
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, balanced position and develops both the cultural value of local literature and the broader benefits of foreign works in a logical structure. Its main limitation is that, at 191 words, the support remains brief and general, so the argument lacks the depth expected for Task 2; expand each main idea with more specific explanation and a fully developed example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear, relevant position is maintained, but the substantially under-length response develops its main ideas only briefly.
Extend both body arguments with fuller reasoning and specific, detailed examples to meet the required depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with clear and generally natural cohesive links.
Use referencing and transitions within paragraphs to connect supporting details more subtly.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is appropriate and sufficiently varied, with effective expressions such as cultural heritage, perspectives, tolerance, and curriculum.
Increase precision by reducing repeated uses of literature and children through controlled paraphrase.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of simple and complex sentences is used accurately, with errors rare and meaning consistently clear.
Refine punctuation and vary complex sentence patterns further while preserving the current accuracy.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.