Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
Sample Response
In recent years, there has been a growing trend of tourists visiting extreme destinations, such as Mount Everest, the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. This essay will discuss the advantages and drawbacks for tourists who choose to visit such places.
There are numerous benefits to visiting extreme destinations for travellers. Firstly, it allows tourists to experience and appreciate the natural beauty and unique features of these locations. For example, the Sahara desert offers an opportunity to witness stunning sunsets and the natural oasis while the Antarctic offers a chance to witness beautiful wildlife such as penguins and seals. Secondly, visiting such destinations can be a great challenge and can help to build resilience and confidence in tourists. It requires physical and mental stamina to adapt to extreme weather conditions and unfamiliar environments. This sense of accomplishment can be a great source of personal satisfaction and growth for tourists.
On the other hand, there are also several disadvantages associated with visiting such harsh destinations. Firstly, it can be dangerous for tourists if they are not adequately prepared or if they do not take proper precautions. For instance, dehydration is a common problem for tourists who visit the Sahara desert, and frostbite is a risk for those who travel to the Antarctic. Secondly, the cost of travelling to these destinations can be prohibitive for many tourists, making it an option only for those who can afford it.
In conclusion, visiting extreme destinations can have both benefits and disadvantages for tourists. While it offers an opportunity to witness unique natural beauty and can help to build resilience and confidence, it can also be dangerous and expensive. It is important that tourists are adequately prepared and take proper precautions when visiting such places to ensure their safety and to fully enjoy the experience.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the beneficiary phrase Original: to visiting extreme destinations for travellers Suggested revision: for travellers visiting extreme destinations Why it matters: For travellers correctly identifies who receives the benefits.
- 2. Clarify the reference Original: it allows tourists Suggested revision: such travel allows tourists Why it matters: Such travel names the activity more clearly than the vague pronoun it.
- 3. Use a measured adjective Original: great Suggested revision: significant Why it matters: Significant describes the demanding experience more precisely.
- 4. Correct the build structure Original: help to build resilience and confidence in tourists Suggested revision: help tourists build resilience and confidence Why it matters: Help takes a person followed by the base verb in this structure.
- 5. Remove repeated intensification Original: a great source of personal satisfaction and growth Suggested revision: a source of personal satisfaction and growth Why it matters: Source already expresses the relationship, so great adds little precise meaning.
- 6. Use neutral condition wording Original: harsh Suggested revision: demanding Why it matters: Demanding describes the difficult conditions more neutrally and precisely.
- 7. Avoid repeating the condition Original: if they are not adequately prepared or if they do not take Suggested revision: if they are not adequately prepared or do not take Why it matters: The shared subject makes the second if unnecessary.
- 8. Mark the contrasting risks Original: the Sahara desert, and frostbite Suggested revision: the Sahara Desert, while frostbite Why it matters: While clearly contrasts the risks in the two destinations, and Desert is part of the proper name.
- 9. Clarify the cost result Original: making it an option only for those who can afford it Suggested revision: so only travellers who can afford the cost can visit them Why it matters: The revision makes both pronoun references explicit and states the consequence directly.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: For example, the Sahara desert offers an opportunity to witness stunning sunsets and the natural oasis while the Antarctic offers a chance to witness beautiful wildlife such as penguins and seals. Suggested revision: For example, the Sahara Desert offers stunning sunsets and natural oases, while the Antarctic provides opportunities to observe wildlife such as penguins and seals. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the proper name, number and clause punctuation while reducing repeated wording.
Suggested Rewrites
- to visiting extreme destinations for travellers for travellers visiting extreme destinations
- it allows tourists such travel allows tourists
- great significant
- help to build resilience and confidence in tourists help tourists build resilience and confidence
- a great source of personal satisfaction and growth a source of personal satisfaction and growth
- harsh demanding
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response fully addresses both sides of the task, developing each advantage and disadvantage with clear explanation and relevant destination-specific examples. Its organization is highly controlled and the language is generally fluent and precise, with only minor repetition and occasional slightly awkward phrasing. The main refinement is to vary recurring nouns and linking patterns while making a few expressions more idiomatic and exact.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both advantages and disadvantages are directly addressed, well developed, and supported with relevant examples of natural attractions, personal growth, danger, and cost.
Add a little more nuance to the cost point or explain its practical consequence to make every idea equally developed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear four-paragraph structure with strong internal progression and cohesive links that are easy to follow.
Vary the repeated ‘Firstly’ and ‘Secondly’ pattern to make the progression feel less formulaic while preserving clarity.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible, topic-specific, and generally precise, including effective choices such as ‘resilience’, ‘stamina’, and ‘prohibitive’.
Reduce repetition of ‘tourists’ and ‘destinations’ and refine minor phrases such as ‘the natural oasis’ to more idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately and confidently, with only rare minor awkwardness that does not impede communication.
Refine pronoun reference and sentence openings so expressions such as ‘it allows tourists’ have an unmistakable grammatical antecedent.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.