You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays. You decide to apply for the job. Write a letter to the director of the Museum. In your letter: - introduce yourself - explain what experience and special skills you have - explain why you are interested in the job
Sample Response
Dear Sir/Madam, I’m writing to apply for the holiday job which you advertised recently in the newspaper. I am a twenty-one-year-old student and I speak English quite well. At present I am in my second year studying History at Lincoln College and I am very keen to have a holiday job this summer. I am extremely good at adding up, so I think I would be an asset to your shop. My term finishes on 5th July and I am free until 20th September. Last year I worked in a restaurant serving tourists from all over the world and I enjoyed it very much. I would like to have the opportunity to meet people and practise my English again. I enjoy going to museums and am particularly keen on history. Last year I went to an exhibition of Ancient Greek objects which was held in London. I have often been in your museum and am familiar with the items you have. I do hope you will be interested in my application. I look forward to hearing from you in the near future. Yours faithfully, Dimitris Boudramis
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use formal wording Original: I’m Suggested revision: I am Why it matters: The uncontracted form is more consistent with the formal tone of a job application.
- 2. Lowercase the subject Original: History Suggested revision: history Why it matters: An academic subject is normally lowercase unless it is part of an official course title.
- 3. Use professional wording Original: extremely good at adding up Suggested revision: highly accurate with calculations Why it matters: This phrasing presents the same numerical skill in a more professional way.
- 4. Use formal date style Original: 5th Suggested revision: 5 Why it matters: The day–month form without an ordinal ending is more conventional in a formal application.
- 5. Use formal date style Original: 20th Suggested revision: 20 Why it matters: The day–month form without an ordinal ending is more conventional in a formal application.
- 6. Make the clause concise Original: which was held in London Suggested revision: held in London Why it matters: The reduced relative clause conveys the same information more concisely.
- 7. Use a natural collocation Original: been in your museum Suggested revision: visited your museum Why it matters: ‘Visited’ is the precise verb for describing previous trips to a museum.
- 8. Choose precise museum vocabulary Original: items you have Suggested revision: exhibits on display Why it matters: This phrase identifies the museum’s displayed objects more precisely.
- 9. Structure the application Suggested revision: Group the introduction, availability, relevant experience, motivation, and closing into separate paragraphs. Why it matters: Clear paragraphing would help the director locate each part of the application quickly.
- 10. Connect experience to role Suggested revision: Explain how serving international tourists is relevant to assisting customers in the museum shop. Why it matters: The restaurant experience is relevant, but its value for the advertised role is left implicit.
Suggested Rewrites
- I’m I am
- History history
- extremely good at adding up highly accurate with calculations
- 5th 5
- 20th 20
- which was held in London held in London
Why this response received Band 8.0
The application is persuasive and complete, linking the writer's studies, customer-facing experience, numerical ability, and interest in history directly to the museum-shop role. The main weakness is the dense single-block presentation, while a few expressions could be more professional; the priority is to group qualifications, experience, motivation, and availability into distinct paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter establishes its purpose promptly, covers every bullet point in relevant detail, and sustains an appropriately formal application tone.
Make the connection between restaurant service experience and the museum shop's likely customer-service duties even more explicit.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from the application and personal background to skills, experience, motivation, and a polite closing.
Use separate body paragraphs to distinguish qualifications and availability from experience and reasons for applying.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a flexible and generally precise range of vocabulary suited to employment, study, tourism, and museums.
Replace conversational wording such as 'good at adding up' with a more professional phrase such as 'confident handling transactions.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex and simple structures are varied and consistently well controlled, with accurate agreement, tense, and sentence formation.
Refine the occasional awkward construction, such as 'have often been in your museum,' to sound fully natural.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays. You decide to apply for the job. Write a letter to the director of the Museum. In your letter:
- introduce yourself
- explain what experience and special skills you have
- explain why you are interested in the job
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.