You have seen an advertisement for part-time work in a hotel for threemonths over the summer. Write a letter to the Manager. In your letter: - say what experience you have - ask what the work involves - enquire about conditions
Sample Response
Dear Sir, I am writing to enquire about the part-time position as a waiter advertised in 'The Evening Echo' on 24th June. I am looking for work in the months of July and August because my university vacation is then. I have quite a lot of experience in the hotel business, as I was working in a guesthouse last year. The job involved dealing with geusts, and I very much enjoyed it. I can supply references of my previous employer if you require them. Could you please let me know what this position involves? At the guesthouse, I worked as a porter and also I did some work as a waiter in the restaurant, so I would be interested in either of these jobs. Could you give me an idea of the working hours? I am available at the weekends as well as during the week, and I can work any hours. However, I would prefer daytime to shifts, if possible. Could you also tell me about accommodation for employees and how much you pay. I would appreciate hearing from you. Yours faithfully
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use inclusive salutation Original: Dear Sir, Suggested revision: Dear Sir or Madam, Why it matters: This formal salutation is more appropriate when the manager's name is unknown.
- 2. Use simple past Original: was working Suggested revision: worked Why it matters: The completed employment last year requires the simple past tense.
- 3. Correct spelling Original: geusts Suggested revision: guests Why it matters: Correct this misspelling of 'guests'.
- 4. Fix preposition Original: of Suggested revision: from Why it matters: References are supplied from a previous employer, not of one.
- 5. Fix adverb position Original: also I did Suggested revision: also did Why it matters: Place 'also' before the main verb without repeating the subject.
- 6. Clarify preference Original: daytime to shifts Suggested revision: daytime hours rather than shifts Why it matters: The revised comparison clearly states the preferred working arrangement.
- 7. Use indirect question Original: how much you pay. Suggested revision: what the rate of pay is? Why it matters: An indirect question needs statement word order and a question mark here.
- 8. Complete the sign-off Original: Yours faithfully Suggested revision: Yours faithfully, [Your full name] Why it matters: A formal application letter should end with a comma and the writer's name.
- 9. Use concise job title Original: part-time position as a waiter Suggested revision: part-time waiter position Why it matters: This compact noun phrase is clearer and more natural in an application letter.
- 10. State dates concisely Original: in the months of July and August Suggested revision: during July and August Why it matters: The shorter time expression conveys the same availability more directly.
- 11. Improve time clause Original: because my university vacation is then Suggested revision: when I am on university vacation Why it matters: A 'when' clause links the availability period to the vacation more naturally.
- 12. Use formal phrasing Original: quite a lot of experience Suggested revision: considerable experience Why it matters: This phrase is more concise and appropriately formal for an application.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Sir, Dear Sir or Madam,
- was working worked
- geusts guests
- of from
- also I did also did
- daytime to shifts daytime hours rather than shifts
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter addresses every required point directly, with a clear purpose, relevant hotel experience, and an appropriately polite professional tone. Its main limitation is presentation: the ideas are delivered in one unbroken block, while a few awkward collocations and minor accuracy slips reduce polish. Organise the content into purposeful paragraphs and refine phrases such as the reference and shift requests for a more natural, precise application.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are covered, and the formal tone suits an enquiry to a manager.
Develop the conditions enquiry slightly further by asking about specific matters such as pay arrangements or contract dates.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from availability and experience to duties and employment conditions, with generally natural linking.
Use separate paragraphs for experience, the role itself, and employment conditions to make the structure easier to scan.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and appropriate for a formal job enquiry, although a few collocations and one spelling error reduce precision.
Proofread word choice carefully and use natural phrases such as references from a previous employer and daytime work rather than shifts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of simple and complex structures is handled accurately enough for effortless understanding, with only occasional awkward constructions and punctuation slips.
Refine clause structure in phrases such as also I did some work and check punctuation at the ends of indirect questions.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have seen an advertisement for part-time work in a hotel for threemonths over the summer. Write a letter to the Manager. In your letter:
- say what experience you have
- ask what the work involves
- enquire about conditions
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.