The bar chart below gives information about vehicle ownership in China.
Sample Response
The diagram illustrates how many cars per thousand Chinese held between the years 1987 and 1999. As a general trend, motorised vehicle ownership in China increased significantly and in just 12 years, it skyrocketed. According to the column graph, motor car ownership in China in 1987 was quite low as less than 30 cars were owned by per thousand Chinese. In 1989, it crossed 50 cars ownership per thousand Chinese people and this trend continued in the next years. Then, in 1991, every ten people owned a vehicle on an average and this number kept on increasing in the following years. In 1995, 200 cars were owned by a thousand Chinese. After 2 years, this number reached to 300 which indicate that almost every three persons in China owned a car. In the final year, the number of cars owned by a thousand Chinese citizens crossed 400 and that was more than 13 times higher than the initial figure in 1987.
[Writtne by - Li Wei ]
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify ownership Original: how many cars per thousand Chinese held Suggested revision: how many vehicles were owned per thousand people in China Why it matters: People hold cars is not natural, and the chart unit is vehicles per thousand people.
- 2. Moderate tone Original: it skyrocketed Suggested revision: the figure rose sharply Why it matters: Skyrocketed is understandable but less formal for a Task 1 report.
- 3. Fix preposition Original: by per thousand Chinese Suggested revision: per thousand Chinese people Why it matters: The phrase should not use both by and per.
- 4. Natural noun phrase Original: 50 cars ownership Suggested revision: 50 vehicles per thousand people Why it matters: Cars ownership is not a natural count expression.
- 5. Article use Original: on an average Suggested revision: on average Why it matters: The fixed phrase is on average.
- 6. Unsupported inference Original: almost every three persons in China owned a car Suggested revision: there were about 300 vehicles per thousand people Why it matters: The chart shows vehicles per thousand people, not exact individual ownership.
- 7. Remove preposition Original: this number reached to 300 Suggested revision: this number reached 300 Why it matters: Reach does not take to before a number.
- 8. Subject agreement Original: which indicate Suggested revision: which indicates Why it matters: The singular clause subject needs indicates.
- 9. Remove credit line Original: [Writtne by - Li Wei ] Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: A credit line is not part of an IELTS Task 1 answer, and Writtne is misspelled.
- 10. Rewrite introduction Original: The diagram illustrates how many cars per thousand Chinese held between the years 1987 and 1999. Suggested revision: The bar chart illustrates the number of vehicles owned per thousand people in China between 1987 and 1999. Why it matters: This introduces the visual and unit more accurately.
- 11. Cleaner overview Original: As a general trend, motorised vehicle ownership in China increased significantly and in just 12 years, it skyrocketed. Suggested revision: Overall, vehicle ownership rose sharply throughout the period, with the fastest growth after the early 1990s. Why it matters: This gives a formal overview and highlights the key pattern.
- 12. Avoid overclaim Original: After 2 years, this number reached to 300 which indicate that almost every three persons in China owned a car. Suggested revision: Two years later, the figure reached about 300 vehicles per thousand people. Why it matters: The original converts the chart unit into an unsupported ownership claim.
Suggested Rewrites
- how many cars per thousand Chinese held how many vehicles were owned per thousand people in China
- it skyrocketed the figure rose sharply
- by per thousand Chinese per thousand Chinese people
- 50 cars ownership 50 vehicles per thousand people
- on an average on average
- almost every three persons in China owned a car there were about 300 vehicles per thousand people
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response identifies the sharp overall rise and reports the main values from the bar chart. It covers the whole period and includes a clear overview, but it occasionally overinterprets the figures as car ownership by individual people and makes the unsupported claim that almost every three people owned a car.
Keep the trend summary, but describe the unit consistently as vehicles per thousand people and avoid converting it into household or person-level ownership claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report has a logical sequence from introduction to overview and year-by-year detail. Cohesion is generally clear, though it is written as one paragraph and relies on simple time markers.
Separate the overview from the detailed figures and group the years into early, middle, and final stages of growth.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is appropriate for a chart report, with useful terms such as increased significantly, column graph, and initial figure. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate, especially around ownership and people.
Use precise chart language such as vehicles per thousand people, rose to, reached, and the figure instead of cars were owned by per thousand Chinese.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is mostly clear, but there are repeated errors with articles, prepositions, agreement, and word forms. These errors rarely prevent understanding but reduce accuracy.
Check prepositions after owned and reached, use singular/plural agreement carefully, and remove unnecessary articles in phrases such as on average.