The graph below shows the differences in wheat exports over three different areas. Wheat Exports from 1985 to 1990 (in million tonnes)
Sample Response
The given line graph compares the wheat exports over three different parts of the world namely Australia, Canada and the European Community from 1985 to 1990. As is presented in the graph, the wheat export in Australia decreased over time while the export in Canada and European countries increased with some fluctuations. According to the graph, around 15 to 20 million tons of wheat was exported to Australia, Canada and the European community. This amount decreased slightly in 1986 reaching around 15 million tons and from that point, the export quantity in Australia kept on decreasing and reached just over 10 million tons in 1990. In the meantime, the amount increased sharply in Canada until 1988 and then there was a quick decline and finally, it reached around 19 million tons in 1990. Finally, the wheat export in the European Community increased gradually over the years and reached over 20 million tons in 1990.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add comma Original: over three different parts of the world namely Suggested revision: over three different parts of the world, namely Why it matters: A comma is needed before namely.
- 2. Use chart label Original: European countries Suggested revision: the European Community Why it matters: The chart uses European Community as the category.
- 3. Wrong direction Original: was exported to Australia, Canada and the European community Suggested revision: was exported from Australia, Canada and the European Community Why it matters: The graph shows exports from these areas, not exports to them.
- 4. Unclear reference Original: This amount decreased slightly in 1986 Suggested revision: Australia's figure decreased slightly in 1986 Why it matters: This amount does not clearly refer to a single series.
- 5. Natural term Original: export quantity Suggested revision: export volume Why it matters: Export volume is more natural for tonnes.
- 6. More precise value Original: reached just over 10 million tons in 1990 Suggested revision: fell to about 12 million tonnes in 1990 Why it matters: The Australian figure is around 12, not just over 10.
- 7. Mention fluctuation Original: increased sharply in Canada until 1988 Suggested revision: fluctuated in Canada before peaking in 1988 Why it matters: Canada first falls and then rises, so the trend is not simply sharp increase until 1988.
- 8. Sentence flow Original: and then there was a quick decline and finally, it reached Suggested revision: then declined quickly before reaching Why it matters: This is more concise and grammatically smoother.
- 9. Plural term Original: the wheat export in the European Community Suggested revision: wheat exports from the European Community Why it matters: Exports is the usual plural noun for this data.
- 10. Correct direction Original: According to the graph, around 15 to 20 million tons of wheat was exported to Australia, Canada and the European community. Suggested revision: At the start of the period, the three areas exported between about 15 and 19 million tonnes of wheat. Why it matters: This fixes the direction of export and makes the comparison clearer.
- 11. Clarify Australia Original: This amount decreased slightly in 1986 reaching around 15 million tons and from that point, the export quantity in Australia kept on decreasing and reached just over 10 million tons in 1990. Suggested revision: Australia's exports rose slightly to about 16 million tonnes in 1986, then declined steadily to around 12 million tonnes by 1990. Why it matters: The original trend and final value are not precise enough.
- 12. Capture fluctuation Original: In the meantime, the amount increased sharply in Canada until 1988 and then there was a quick decline and finally, it reached around 19 million tons in 1990. Suggested revision: Canada fluctuated more sharply, falling in 1986, peaking at about 25 million tonnes in 1988, dropping in 1989, and recovering to around 18 million tonnes in 1990. Why it matters: This reflects the actual Canadian series more accurately.
Suggested Rewrites
- over three different parts of the world namely over three different parts of the world, namely
- European countries the European Community
- was exported to Australia, Canada and the European community was exported from Australia, Canada and the European Community
- This amount decreased slightly in 1986 Australia's figure decreased slightly in 1986
- export quantity export volume
- reached just over 10 million tons in 1990 fell to about 12 million tonnes in 1990
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The report identifies the main contrast: Australia declines, Canada fluctuates sharply, and the European Community rises. It covers the full period, but some data are imprecise, and one sentence wrongly says wheat was exported to the areas rather than by them.
State each region's starting and ending values accurately and describe exports from the three areas, not to them.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear overview and a generally logical order. However, it is one paragraph and uses repeated reference phrases such as according to the graph and finally.
Use a separate overview and then compare Australia, Canada, and the European Community in a grouped detail paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Lexical range is adequate for trend description, with decreased, increased, fluctuations, sharply, and gradual. Some terms are inaccurate, including European countries for the European Community and amount for export volumes.
Use precise labels from the graph and refer to export figures or volumes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar errors occur with prepositions, articles, and sentence structure. Meaning is clear, but several sentences are clumsy or inaccurate.
Check prepositions around exported from, noun agreement after amount, and comma use before namely.