Write a letter to your college administration department complaining about the college facility. In your letter include: - what the problem is - how this problem has affected you - what the college should do to fix this problem
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am a science major in your college and very proud to be a member of this prestigious institution. However, I am writing to notify you of some problems we, the residential students, are facing for the last few weeks. I am hoping that you would take steps to solve those problems as early as possible. In relation to the specifics of the first problem, the only photocopy machine that we have in our college is out of order for over a month. We often need to travel to the nearest market for any photocopy requirement and it kills our valuable time. Moreover, our college canteen no longer maintains a healthy diet and due to this, I have had severe stomach pain last week. I had to visit a doctor and the test report outlines food poisoning. This same fate waited for some other students who ate in the canteen last week. I hope you can imagine the difficulty we are going through. I would really appreciate it if you could intervene and solve the problems that are harshly affecting us. I hope you would take steps to solve our misery. Yours faithfully, Robert Buckley
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. State number precisely Original: some problems Suggested revision: two problems Why it matters: The letter goes on to identify exactly two separate facility problems.
- 2. Use present perfect Original: are facing for the last few weeks Suggested revision: have been facing for the past few weeks Why it matters: An ongoing problem that began in the past requires the present perfect continuous.
- 3. Use direct request tense Original: I am hoping that you would Suggested revision: I hope you will Why it matters: The direct hope about future action needs will rather than would here.
- 4. Use standard phrase Original: as early as possible Suggested revision: as soon as possible Why it matters: As soon as possible is the natural expression for urgent action.
- 5. Introduce issue directly Original: In relation to the specifics of the first problem Suggested revision: The first problem is that Why it matters: The direct phrase is clearer and less bureaucratic.
- 6. Delete redundant detail Original: that we have in our college Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: Only already establishes that the college has a single machine.
- 7. Show ongoing duration Original: is out of order for over a month Suggested revision: has been out of order for over a month Why it matters: Present perfect is required for a condition continuing until now.
- 8. Use natural phrasing Original: for any photocopy requirement Suggested revision: whenever we need to make copies Why it matters: The original noun phrase is unnatural and unnecessarily abstract.
- 9. Use formal consequence Original: it kills our valuable time Suggested revision: this wastes valuable study time Why it matters: The revision states the impact precisely in an appropriate formal tone.
- 10. Describe food service Original: no longer maintains a healthy diet Suggested revision: no longer serves healthy food Why it matters: A canteen serves food; it does not maintain a diet.
- 11. Use past simple Original: I have had severe stomach pain last week Suggested revision: I had severe stomach pain last week Why it matters: A finished time expression such as last week requires the past simple.
- 12. Use medical result wording Original: test report outlines food poisoning Suggested revision: test results indicated food poisoning Why it matters: Results indicate a diagnosis; a report does not outline it in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- some problems two problems
- are facing for the last few weeks have been facing for the past few weeks
- I am hoping that you would I hope you will
- as early as possible as soon as possible
- In relation to the specifics of the first problem The first problem is that
- that we have in our college Delete
Why this response received Band 6.5
The complaint is clear, formal, and convincingly explains how the broken photocopier and unsafe canteen have affected students. The main weakness is that the requested action remains vague: asking the college to "solve the problems" does not specify repairing or replacing the machine and investigating food safety, while several tense and collocation errors reduce polish. State concrete remedies for each facility and proofread time references and verb forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The problems and their effects are developed clearly in a suitable formal tone, but the requested solutions are only stated in general terms.
Ask explicitly for the photocopier to be repaired or replaced and for the canteen's hygiene and food preparation to be investigated.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter follows a clear sequence from purpose to two problems and a closing request, though the single-block presentation and repeated appeals weaken organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for the photocopier, the canteen, and the requested remedies, removing the repeated general request at the end.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary communicates the complaint clearly and shows some range, but several collocations such as "test report outlines food poisoning" and "solve our misery" are unnatural.
Choose precise formal phrases such as "the test confirmed food poisoning" and "resolve these serious issues."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences remains clear, but recurring tense and preposition errors reduce accuracy.
Use the present perfect for continuing situations and the simple past for finished events, as in "has been out of order" and "I had severe pain last week."
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