You saw an advertisement for a tennis course in England but you have some problems and can’t stay for the whole course. Write a letter to the course director. In your letter: - explain your interest in the course - describe your problems - find out whether a refund is possible if you leave early
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am Stephen Gore, writing to inquire some details about the tennis course that you conduct. I would specifically like to know your refund policy for people who cannot complete the whole course. I have recently noticed your advertisement in a daily newspaper and as a passionate learner of this sport, I would like to get enrolled in this three-month-long program. As the course is intended for the intermediate players of tennis, it would be a good fit for me. However, there are some issues that I would like to resolve before getting enrolled in this course. First, the timing of the course. According to the advert of yours, it is from 4:00 to 6:00 in the evening. However, I cannot join it before 5:30 pm. Is there any option to adjust the timing or date? I guess that would be necessary for learners who have full-time jobs. Besides, I will probably travel to Sydney, Australia during my course schedule and would stay there for almost two months. Considering this, can I get a refund in case I do not complete the whole course? What is the refund policy? Finally, I would request you to email the document checklists to join the course. Thank you in advance. A prompt response would be highly appreciated. Yours faithfully, Stephen Gore
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the preposition Original: inquire some details Suggested revision: inquire about some details Why it matters: The verb "inquire" takes "about" before the information requested.
- 2. Use natural wording Original: course that you conduct Suggested revision: course that you offer Why it matters: A course provider normally "offers" or "runs" a course.
- 3. Use direct tense Original: have recently noticed Suggested revision: recently saw Why it matters: The simple past is more natural for a completed act of seeing an advertisement.
- 4. State interest naturally Original: passionate learner of this sport Suggested revision: keen tennis player Why it matters: This concise phrase expresses the applicant's interest in tennis more idiomatically.
- 5. Use concise verb Original: get enrolled in Suggested revision: enrol in Why it matters: "Enrol in" is the natural concise form in formal British English.
- 6. Fix noun order Original: the intermediate players of tennis Suggested revision: intermediate tennis players Why it matters: The level and sport function naturally as modifiers before "players."
- 7. Avoid wordy passive Original: getting enrolled in this course Suggested revision: enrolling in the course Why it matters: The active gerund is shorter and more natural here.
- 8. Complete the sentence Original: First, the timing of the course. Suggested revision: First, I am concerned about the course timing. Why it matters: The original is a fragment rather than a complete statement of the first problem.
- 9. Use formal phrasing Original: advert of yours Suggested revision: your advertisement Why it matters: The possessive phrase "advert of yours" is awkward in this formal letter.
- 10. Use correct verb Original: join it Suggested revision: attend Why it matters: A learner attends a scheduled course rather than joins it at a particular time.
- 11. Keep formal tone Original: I guess Suggested revision: I believe Why it matters: "I believe" is more appropriate when writing formally to a course director.
- 12. Use formal transition Original: Besides Suggested revision: Additionally Why it matters: This transition more clearly introduces the separate travel problem.
Suggested Rewrites
- inquire some details inquire about some details
- course that you conduct course that you offer
- have recently noticed recently saw
- passionate learner of this sport keen tennis player
- get enrolled in enrol in
- the intermediate players of tennis intermediate tennis players
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter has a clear formal purpose and develops all three requirements with convincing detail: the writer explains his interest and level, sets out both timing and travel problems, and asks directly about an early-departure refund. Its main weakness is presentation and some awkward phrasing, so the priority is to divide the request into logical paragraphs and replace expressions such as inquire some details, advert of yours and document checklists with natural formal wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter clearly explains the writer’s interest, develops two genuine attendance problems, and directly requests information about a refund in a consistently appropriate formal tone.
Keep the final request focused on the advertised course by asking about refund conditions or supporting evidence rather than adding the unrelated document-checklist query.
Coherence and Cohesion
The content follows a clear purpose-to-interest-to-problems-to-refund sequence, but it is presented as one long paragraph and sometimes uses mechanical transitions.
Use separate paragraphs for interest, scheduling and travel constraints, and the refund request.
Lexical Resource
A flexible range of formal and course-related vocabulary conveys the request precisely overall, despite several awkward collocations.
Replace inquire some details, advert of yours and document checklists with inquire about the course, your advertisement and list of required documents.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are generally well controlled, with only occasional errors in prepositions, fragments and modal consistency.
Correct forms such as inquire about, the course runs from, and I will stay there, and turn First, the timing of the course into a complete sentence.
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