You are planning to go to a music concert in your town and would like a friend to accompany you. Write a letter to invite your friend to the concert you are planning to go to. In your letter say: - what the content of the music concert is - where and when the music concert is - why you think your friend should go to this concert
Sample Response
Dear Emma, How are you? I haven't seen you for a while and wish everything is fine. Anyway, I am writing because I am inviting you to enjoy a music concert titled ” EXO PLANET#2 – The EXO'LuXion” and it will be held on 17th August in Aisa-World Arena in Hong Kong. I am so eagerly waiting to enjoy this music concert together. I am sure you already know that EXO band is a Chinese-South Korean boy band based in Seoul. Formed by S.M. Entertainment in 2011 it is now a famous music band in our area. I guess you know this band since you are a big fan of K-Pop music. They will perform 27 songs and play games with fans. ChanYeol (a member of this band) will solo a program that is dancing in the water. You can scream loudly for the members you like and in the meantime, that can help you release stress. You will see the silver sea which consists of glow sticks. It's totally a fantastic world. Anyway, do let me know if you can make it. My new number is at the top of the page, so you can give me a call anytime. Take care and see you soon. I am looking forward to enjoying this music concert with you. Warm wishes, Shirley
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Missing subject Original: wish everything is fine Suggested revision: I hope everything is fine Why it matters: A complete independent clause needs an explicit subject.
- 2. Invitation phrase Original: I am inviting you to enjoy Suggested revision: I'd like to invite you to Why it matters: This is more natural for an informal invitation.
- 3. Adverb placement Original: I am so eagerly waiting Suggested revision: I am really looking forward Why it matters: The revised phrase is idiomatic and correctly formed.
- 4. Introductory comma Original: Formed by S.M. Entertainment in 2011 it Suggested revision: Formed by S.M. Entertainment in 2011, it Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory participle phrase.
- 5. Wrong collocation Original: will solo a program Suggested revision: will perform a solo Why it matters: Perform a solo is the natural expression.
- 6. Natural expression Original: that can help you release stress Suggested revision: this could help you relieve stress Why it matters: Relieve stress is the standard collocation.
- 7. Clarify image Original: the silver sea which consists of glow sticks Suggested revision: a silver sea of glowing light sticks Why it matters: This gives the friend a clearer, more vivid reason to attend.
- 8. Warmer opening Original: I haven't seen you for a while Suggested revision: It's been a while since we last met Why it matters: This creates a more natural informal opening.
- 9. Date style Original: on 17th August Suggested revision: on 17 August Why it matters: Ordinal suffixes are unnecessary in formal written dates.
- 10. Venue spelling Original: in Aisa-World Arena Suggested revision: at AsiaWorld-Arena Why it matters: Use at for venues and correct the venue name.
- 11. Avoid redundant noun Original: EXO band Suggested revision: EXO Why it matters: The proper name already identifies the group.
- 12. Natural modifier Original: Chinese-South Korean boy band Suggested revision: South Korean-Chinese boy band Why it matters: This is the conventional ordering used to describe the group.
Suggested Rewrites
- wish everything is fine I hope everything is fine
- I am inviting you to enjoy I'd like to invite you to
- I am so eagerly waiting I am really looking forward
- Formed by S.M. Entertainment in 2011 it Formed by S.M. Entertainment in 2011, it
- will solo a program will perform a solo
- that can help you release stress this could help you relieve stress
Why this response received Band 7.0
The invitation covers the concert content, exact date and venue, and several personal reasons why Emma would enjoy attending. Its warm, informal tone suits a close friend and the details feel engaging. The main weakness is awkward phrasing and some unnecessary repetition; use more natural event vocabulary, fix sentence boundaries, and organise the invitation into clear paragraphs for a smoother letter.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear and all three prompts are developed with specific, persuasive detail.
State the invitation more directly near the beginning and avoid repeating the concert title.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence is logical, but the whole letter appears as a single block and uses anyway repeatedly.
Separate opening, event details, reasons and response request into paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response has lively topic vocabulary, with several inaccurate collocations.
Use attend a concert, perform a solo and relieve stress.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of forms is used, but participle clauses, punctuation and adverb placement are uneven.
Add commas after introductory clauses and simplify awkward complex sentences.