You recently met the manager of a new company in your city. The manager later offered you a job, but you cannot accept it. Write to the manager. In your letter: - say how you feel about the job offer - explain why you cannot accept it - provide a reference for a friend who might be interested
Sample Response
Dear Mr Roger, Hope you are fine. I thoroughly enjoyed talking to you the other day, and I am also glad and flattered that you have chosen to offer me a position at your company as a Supply Chain Executive. But, as much as I like your offer, I regret that I will not be able to accept it at this time, primarily because I do not really have any formal experience of working in this particular field. Besides, I am holding a senior position at my current job, and I really like it, even though, it does not pay as much as you are willing to pay me. Hope you understand my position. But, I can certainly recommend a prospective candidate for this job, who I do not only know personally, but he also has the experience of working as a junior Supply Chain Associate at a small manufacturing firm. Last time, when I talked to him, he was planning to switch his company for a better position. I will send him over to you if you wish. Thank you once again for your generous offer. Yours sincerely, Freddie Marcus
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the subject Original: Hope you are fine Suggested revision: I hope you are fine Why it matters: The sentence requires the subject I in this letter.
- 2. Remove wordiness Original: chosen to offer me Suggested revision: offered me Why it matters: The shorter verb phrase communicates the same action more directly.
- 3. Improve word order Original: a position at your company as a Supply Chain Executive Suggested revision: a Supply Chain Executive position at your company Why it matters: Placing the job title before position makes the offer easier to identify.
- 4. Remove the comma Original: But, as much Suggested revision: But as much Why it matters: A comma should not separate the coordinating conjunction from the following dependent clause.
- 5. Use concise wording Original: at this time Suggested revision: at present Why it matters: At present is a concise formal expression for the current situation.
- 6. Simplify the structure Original: experience of working in Suggested revision: experience working in Why it matters: Experience can be followed directly by an -ing clause here.
- 7. Use formal linking Original: Besides, Suggested revision: In addition, Why it matters: In addition introduces the second reason more smoothly in a formal letter.
- 8. Use simple present Original: am holding a senior position Suggested revision: hold a senior position Why it matters: The simple present describes the writer's continuing employment status.
- 9. Correct the preposition Original: at Suggested revision: in Why it matters: In is the appropriate preposition for holding a position within a job.
- 10. Use formal wording Original: I really like it Suggested revision: I enjoy it Why it matters: Enjoy expresses satisfaction with the current job more concisely.
- 11. Remove the comma Original: even though, it Suggested revision: even though it Why it matters: No comma belongs between even though and the subject of its clause.
- 12. Clarify salary comparison Original: pay as much as you are willing to pay me Suggested revision: match the salary you offered Why it matters: The revision states the salary comparison more concisely and precisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- Hope you are fine I hope you are fine
- chosen to offer me offered me
- a position at your company as a Supply Chain Executive a Supply Chain Executive position at your company
- But, as much But as much
- at this time at present
- experience of working in experience working in
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter responds politely to the offer, explains the refusal through lack of field experience and satisfaction with the current senior role, and recommends a friend with relevant supply-chain experience. Its main limitation is that the friend remains unnamed and has no contact details, making the reference less actionable, while several sentences contain awkward punctuation or structure. Prioritise giving the candidate’s name, key qualification, and a clear way to make contact.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All bullet points are addressed with relevant detail and suitable politeness, though the recommended friend is not identified or made directly contactable.
Provide the friend’s name, one or two relevant qualifications, and contact details or permission to share them.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses clearly from appreciation to refusal reasons, recommendation, and thanks, but repeated ‘But’ openings weaken flow.
Use one transition into the refusal and another into the recommendation, avoiding sentence fragments and unnecessary interruptions.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of employment vocabulary, though phrases such as ‘holding a senior position at my current job’ and ‘switch his company’ are unnatural.
Use ‘hold a senior role’, ‘change employers’, ‘relevant experience’, and ‘put you in contact with him’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied sentence structures convey the message, but punctuation, fragment, relative-clause, and correlative-conjunction errors recur.
Correct the ‘not only … but also’ structure and remove commas that split concessive clauses or main clause elements.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You recently met the manager of a new company in your city. The manager later offered you a job, but you cannot accept it. Write to the manager. In your letter:
- say how you feel about the job offer
- explain why you cannot accept it
- provide a reference for a friend who might be interested
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.