You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You spoke to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: - introduce yourself - explain the situation - say what action you would like the company to take

Same question Compare 6 different answers

Sample Response

Dear Sir or Madam, I purchased a smartphone a month ago from your store in the Abbey Avenue Complex and was very thrilled to own this particular model. Unfortunately, after only a few days, the phone stopped working and even after claiming the warranty, I have not heard anything from the store. I am hoping that you will replace the faulty phone with a new one. In relation to the specifics of the order, I purchased a Samsung Galaxy S23 Ultra, 512 GB RAM and smartphone from the Abbey Avenue Complex showroom on 09th June. The phone worked as expected during the first two weeks and then suddenly malfunctioned. Firstly the camera stopped working and later the touchscreen became irresponsive. The phone is now unusable. Please find enclosed a copy of the purchase bill. I did report the issue to your customer care department a week ago and returned the faulty phone to your store. I was promised that a new phone would be sent to my home address within three days. However, I have not received it yet or heard anything from customer care. I would highly appreciate it if you could look into this matter. I have a valid replacement warranty and I would like you to replace this faulty product with a new one. Otherwise, I would be forced to complain to the Consumer Protection Authority. Looking forward to your response and kind cooperation. Yours faithfully, Preeti Zinta

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Correct the collocation Original: claiming the warranty Suggested revision: making a warranty claim Why it matters: English uses make a warranty claim rather than claim a warranty.
  • 2. Use precise wording Original: heard anything from the store Suggested revision: received any response from the store Why it matters: The revision states clearly that the store has not responded.
  • 3. Make request direct Original: hoping Suggested revision: hope Why it matters: The simple present forms a more direct current request.
  • 4. Remove wordiness Original: In relation to the specifics of the order Suggested revision: To provide the order details Why it matters: The concise phrase clearly introduces the purchase information.
  • 5. Fix product description Original: a Samsung Galaxy S23 Ultra, 512 GB RAM and smartphone Suggested revision: a Samsung Galaxy S23 Ultra smartphone with 512 GB capacity Why it matters: The revision removes the duplicated noun and integrates the capacity as a modifier of the phone.
  • 6. Use standard date Original: 09th Suggested revision: 9 Why it matters: Formal British date style normally omits the leading zero and ordinal suffix.
  • 7. Add a comma Original: Firstly the camera Suggested revision: Firstly, the camera Why it matters: An introductory sequencing adverb should be followed by a comma.
  • 8. Use the correct adjective Original: irresponsive Suggested revision: unresponsive Why it matters: Unresponsive is the standard adjective for a touchscreen that does not react.
  • 9. Use standard term Original: bill Suggested revision: receipt Why it matters: Receipt is the usual term for proof of a retail purchase.
  • 10. Use simple past Original: did report the issue Suggested revision: reported the issue Why it matters: The emphatic auxiliary is unnecessary in this straightforward account.
  • 11. Use standard term Original: care Suggested revision: service Why it matters: Customer service is the conventional name for the department handling complaints.
  • 12. Clarify parallel objects Original: not received it yet or heard anything from customer care Suggested revision: not received the replacement or heard from customer service Why it matters: The revision makes the two missing outcomes parallel and identifies what has not arrived.

Suggested Rewrites

  • claiming the warranty making a warranty claim
  • heard anything from the store received any response from the store
  • hoping hope
  • In relation to the specifics of the order To provide the order details
  • a Samsung Galaxy S23 Ultra, 512 GB RAM and smartphone a Samsung Galaxy S23 Ultra smartphone with 512 GB capacity
  • 09th 9
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The complaint is firm, appropriately formal, and detailed about the purchase, faults, earlier contact, warranty, and requested replacement. Its main limitation is an internal timing contradiction: the phone is first said to have failed after a few days but later to have worked for two weeks, which weakens the factual record. Prioritise presenting one consistent timeline and correcting imprecise technical wording before requesting a replacement deadline.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

7.0
Scoring rule

The purpose, product details, fault history, prior contact, and desired action are thoroughly covered, but the contradictory failure timeline reduces reliability.

Next step

State one exact date when the phone failed and request replacement delivery by a specific reasonable deadline.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

The letter progresses clearly from purchase and faults to the previous promise, current non-delivery, and escalation request.

Next step

Separate the product details, fault chronology, and requested resolution into distinct paragraphs and avoid repeating the replacement demand.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is generally precise for a formal complaint, though ‘claiming the warranty’, ‘irresponsive’, and the device specification are inaccurate or unnatural.

Next step

Use ‘making a warranty claim’, ‘unresponsive touchscreen’, ‘512 GB storage’, and ‘replacement under warranty’.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

A range of sentence forms is generally well controlled, with occasional errors in coordination, punctuation, articles, and fragmentary closing language.

Next step

Add punctuation after introductory sequence markers and convert the closing fragment into a complete polite sentence.

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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You spoke to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter:

- introduce yourself

- explain the situation

- say what action you would like the company to take

Your response

Words0
20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.