You recently went on a trip with a friend and you both took some photographs. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: - ask your friend to send you one of the photographs - explain why you need that particular photograph and tell your friend - what happened to your copy of it
Sample Response
Dear Dean, How are you? I guess you have got busy with your new job and voluntary social works that you are very active in. I wish I have been more active like you! I would like to thank you for making our trip to Brazil so interesting. Our trip to Brazil was amazing and the vibrant activities we had there are unforgettable. I still remember our day at Pelourinho, the historic centre of Salvador. I particularly relished the old town as it was filled with graceful tranquillity, colourfully painted pastel buildings, and music in the streets. Can you recall how we screamed with joy the time we saw a city we have only seen in movies before? It was an astonishing experience. Do you have the copy of the picture you took in which I was standing amind of a crowd as if I was a local resident? The picture portrayed a different me in it and the lighting worked like magic. I am unfortunate to find that I do not have a copy of this picture. I must have placed it somewhere or lost it. This photograph is special as it reminds me of a great trip we had together. I liked this photo the most as it captured a smiling myself in a mysterious town at a strange outset. I was so overwhelmed with the beauty of this town that I forgot to take pictures. I would be grateful if you can send me that particular picture at your convenience. Take care and stay fine. Warm wishes, Sam
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural present perfect Original: got Suggested revision: been Why it matters: Have been busy is the natural form for a state continuing into the present.
- 2. Correct uncountable work Original: voluntary social works that you are very active in Suggested revision: the volunteer work that keeps you very active Why it matters: Work is uncountable here, and the revision creates a natural relative clause.
- 3. Use wish construction Original: I wish I have been Suggested revision: I wish I were Why it matters: A present unreal wish takes a past-form verb such as were.
- 4. Reduce repetition Original: Our trip to Brazil was amazing and the vibrant activities Suggested revision: It was an amazing trip, and the lively experiences Why it matters: The revision avoids immediately repeating trip to Brazil and uses a more natural collocation.
- 5. Use natural description Original: graceful tranquillity Suggested revision: peaceful atmosphere Why it matters: Peaceful atmosphere is a natural way to describe the calm quality of a place.
- 6. Remove redundant description Original: colourfully painted pastel buildings Suggested revision: colourful pastel buildings Why it matters: Pastel already describes the buildings' colours, so colourfully painted is unnecessarily repetitive.
- 7. Use time conjunction Original: the time we saw Suggested revision: when we saw Why it matters: When connects the recollection to the moment more naturally.
- 8. Use past perfect Original: have Suggested revision: had Why it matters: Past perfect shows that the earlier movie experience preceded the trip.
- 9. Use indefinite article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The writer is asking whether the friend possesses any copy, so a is appropriate.
- 10. Correct amid phrase Original: amind of Suggested revision: amid Why it matters: Amid is the correct spelling and does not take of.
- 11. Clarify the portrait Original: portrayed a different me in it Suggested revision: showed a different side of me Why it matters: The revision expresses the intended idea naturally and removes the redundant pronoun.
- 12. Use sentence adverb Original: I am unfortunate to find Suggested revision: Unfortunately, I have found Why it matters: Unfortunately comments on the situation, while the present perfect fits the recent discovery.
Suggested Rewrites
- got been
- voluntary social works that you are very active in the volunteer work that keeps you very active
- I wish I have been I wish I were
- Our trip to Brazil was amazing and the vibrant activities It was an amazing trip, and the lively experiences
- graceful tranquillity peaceful atmosphere
- colourfully painted pastel buildings colourful pastel buildings
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter has a warm, convincing personal voice and covers the requested photograph, its significance, and the loss of the writer's copy. Its main limitation is control: the request is delayed by excessive trip description, and recurring tense, pronoun, and collocation errors reduce precision. Prioritise bringing the request forward, trimming background detail, and proofreading key sentences for natural informal English.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are addressed in an appropriately friendly tone, though excessive scene-setting delays the practical request.
Ask for the photograph earlier and retain only the background details that explain why that particular image matters.
Coherence and Cohesion
The message has a recognisable progression from shared memories to the photograph and request, but one long paragraph and repetition weaken focus.
Divide the letter into short paragraphs for greeting and context, the photograph's importance, and the request.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and expressive, but errors such as social works, amind, and a smiling myself reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace strained expressions with idiomatic wording such as volunteer work, amid a crowd, and a photograph of me smiling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures communicates the message clearly, although tense consistency, pronoun choice, and verb forms are uneven.
Correct forms such as I wish I had been, a city we had only seen, and I would be grateful if you could send it.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You recently went on a trip with a friend and you both took some photographs. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:
- ask your friend to send you one of the photographs
- explain why you need that particular photograph and tell your friend
- what happened to your copy of it
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.