Some people think that regular study is the key to the academic success of a student while others opine that a good study environment is the most important factor for students’ academic success. What are factors which are related to student’s academic success in universities?
Sample Response
Academic success in universities is a desire sought by every student. In fact, there are several reasons which help students to obtain academic success in universities. Chief among them are the good motive by their instructors and the easy modern teaching methods.
The first factor which is related to academic success is a good motive. Needless to say that the good motive immensely contributes to the success of the students in their academic lives. When the instructors begin to positively motivate their students, such students will feel a strong desire to success. As a result, they will become positive and ambitious students who will endeavour in order to achieve success. Moreover, it can be said that it is instructors’ sole responsibility to plant motivation and challenge among the students. Accordingly, the students will achieve success, not only academically, but in all aspects of life.
The second element that brings academic success for students is the use of modern technology in the teaching process. Undoubtedly, the modern technology facilitates the learning process for the students. Additionally, such advanced technology, to some extent, pleases the students and makes them engaged in their studies. However, if the students misuse such devices, they will get no benefit from their studies and this technology will turn out to be against them. Obviously, the proper study plan and disciplined routines help students to stay focused on their aim and this is another important factor for academic success. In my opinion, the talent, proper study, right study environment and good faculty are some important aspects for such success.
In conclusion, no one can deny that good motivation and modern teaching techniques greatly contribute to the success of the students. By applying the above techniques, we will get excellent students who will contribute to the growth of their communities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: a desire sought by every student Suggested revision: a goal pursued by every student Why it matters: A goal is pursued, whereas a desire is not normally described as sought in this context.
- 2. Choose precise wording Original: several reasons which help students to obtain academic success Suggested revision: several factors that help students achieve academic success Why it matters: Factors and achieve express the causal relationship more naturally and precisely.
- 3. Correct word choice Original: the good motive by their instructors Suggested revision: effective motivation from their instructors Why it matters: Motivation names the encouragement provided by instructors, while motive refers to a person's reason for acting.
- 4. Clarify the quality Original: the easy modern teaching methods Suggested revision: accessible modern teaching methods Why it matters: Accessible describes methods that are easy for students to understand more precisely.
- 5. Make phrasing concise Original: The first factor which is related to academic success Suggested revision: The first factor associated with academic success Why it matters: Associated with is a more concise expression of the same relationship.
- 6. Repair sentence opening Original: Needless to say that Suggested revision: It is clear that Why it matters: Needless to say cannot take that in this sentence pattern.
- 7. Use correct noun Original: the good motive immensely contributes Suggested revision: effective motivation contributes significantly Why it matters: Motivation is the correct noun for encouragement, and significantly is the more natural modifier here.
- 8. Use verb after to Original: success Suggested revision: succeed Why it matters: The infinitive marker to must be followed by the verb succeed.
- 9. Use concise wording Original: endeavour in order to achieve success Suggested revision: strive to achieve success Why it matters: Strive to is a clearer and more concise expression of sustained effort.
- 10. Correct the collocation Original: plant motivation and challenge among the students Suggested revision: instil motivation and a sense of challenge in students Why it matters: Instil motivation in students is the natural collocation, and challenge needs a clearer noun phrase.
- 11. Remove misplaced comma Original: not only academically, but in all aspects of life Suggested revision: not only academically but in all aspects of life Why it matters: No comma should separate the paired not only and but elements here.
- 12. Use precise collocation Original: element that brings academic success for students Suggested revision: factor that promotes students' academic success Why it matters: Promotes students' academic success is a more natural academic collocation.
Suggested Rewrites
- a desire sought by every student a goal pursued by every student
- several reasons which help students to obtain academic success several factors that help students achieve academic success
- the good motive by their instructors effective motivation from their instructors
- the easy modern teaching methods accessible modern teaching methods
- The first factor which is related to academic success The first factor associated with academic success
- Needless to say that It is clear that
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear focus on several relevant contributors to academic success and its generally easy-to-follow paragraphing. Its main limitation is that the explanations are repetitive and broadly asserted, while recurring collocation and grammatical errors reduce precision; the highest-priority improvement is to develop each factor with a specific, convincing explanation or example and express those links in more natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question with several relevant factors, but development is uneven and often general or repetitive.
Develop each main factor through a precise causal explanation and a concrete university-based example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress through a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, although some linking is mechanical and one paragraph becomes list-like.
Give each paragraph one controlling factor and connect supporting sentences through meaning rather than stock transitions.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss motivation, technology, and study habits, but recurring collocation errors reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace awkward phrases such as desire to success and plant motivation with accurate academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer uses a range of sentence forms, but article, preposition, and clause-structure errors recur despite meaning remaining clear.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clause structure and more accurate article and preposition choices.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that regular study is the key to the academic success of a student while others opine that a good study environment is the most important factor for students’ academic success. What are factors which are related to student’s academic success in universities?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.