Is freedom of speech necessary in a free society?

Same question Compare 3 different answers (Band 5.5–8)

Sample Response

Human beings have an unquestionable need to express themselves and their needs through various forms, the most common of which is speech. Therefore, my opinion is that the freedom of speech is of vital importance in order for a society to be called “free”.

Freedom of speech brings about numerous benefits which can be put into two aspects. The first one is for a nation. Freedom of speech, provided that it is protected by law, enables the press or a citizen to show the wrongdoings of one or some specific authorities. This gives a chance for careful inquiries to ensure the transparency of the authority. Thus, corruption can be hampered. Another consequent outcome is that the nation becomes appealing to both domestic and foreign investors, which boosts its economic growth a great deal. Given the freedom of speech, the press, or broadly speaking, the media, can also assist people in elections. Citizens can have a clearer view of the nominees through information from the media besides their campaigns to pick up the best person to lead the country. The other aspect is for each individual living in a society. Any citizen should be free to say what she believes is right and helpful for her life and her community. It means that people can speak up their opinion when there is something wrong, illegal, or negatively affect their lives. For instance, a group of citizens can show disapproval with an unfair policy on tax payment publicly through a demonstration or on the media. This can put pressure on the government to consider their request and work out a solution. If people’s voice is respected, they will feel that their need of self expression is satisfied. Thus, the community becomes worth-living with people with a high sense of well-being.

In a nutshell, freedom of speech, once respected and guaranteed by law, is essential for a healthy society as it helps adjust the quality of the government and protect people from injustice. That is why it should be encouraged more widely.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: that the freedom of speech Suggested revision: that freedom of speech Why it matters: The abstract concept is used generally here, so it does not take the definite article.
  • 2. Clarify the first aspect Original: The first one is for a nation Suggested revision: The first concerns the nation as a whole Why it matters: The revision states the scope of the first perspective more naturally.
  • 3. Use natural collocation Original: show the wrongdoings Suggested revision: expose wrongdoing Why it matters: “Expose wrongdoing” is the natural collocation for revealing misconduct.
  • 4. Fix awkward quantification Original: one or some specific authorities Suggested revision: particular authorities Why it matters: The original combination of singular and plural quantifiers is awkward and unnecessary.
  • 5. Use precise wording Original: gives a chance for careful inquiries Suggested revision: enables careful investigations Why it matters: The revision expresses the opportunity for official examination more directly.
  • 6. Clarify the reference Original: transparency of the authority Suggested revision: transparency of those authorities Why it matters: The plural demonstrative clearly refers back to the authorities whose conduct is investigated.
  • 7. Correct the collocation Original: hampered Suggested revision: curbed Why it matters: “Curb corruption” is the natural collocation for limiting corrupt activity.
  • 8. Remove redundancy Original: Another consequent outcome Suggested revision: Another consequence Why it matters: “Consequent” and “outcome” duplicate the same meaning.
  • 9. Specify the benefit Original: assist people in elections Suggested revision: help voters make choices in elections Why it matters: The revision makes the media’s stated role in elections more precise.
  • 10. Clarify the second aspect Original: The other aspect is for each individual living in a society Suggested revision: The second aspect concerns individuals in society Why it matters: This wording creates a clearer parallel with the first aspect.
  • 11. Correct the collocation Original: speak up their opinion Suggested revision: express their opinions Why it matters: People express opinions; “speak up” does not take “opinion” as a direct object.
  • 12. Fix clause structure Original: when there is something wrong, illegal, or negatively affect their lives Suggested revision: when something is wrong, illegal, or negatively affects their lives Why it matters: The revision supplies a grammatical subject–verb structure and corrects agreement.

Suggested Rewrites

  • that the freedom of speech that freedom of speech
  • The first one is for a nation The first concerns the nation as a whole
  • show the wrongdoings expose wrongdoing
  • one or some specific authorities particular authorities
  • gives a chance for careful inquiries enables careful investigations
  • transparency of the authority transparency of those authorities
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.5

The response answers the question directly and develops a substantial case through national and individual benefits, with clear examples and a consistent position. Its main limitation is uneven precision in expression, as several collocations and grammatical forms sound awkward despite clear meaning; the highest-priority improvement is to revise these phrases for idiomatic accuracy while dividing the long body discussion into more clearly signposted stages.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

8.0
Scoring rule

The position is direct and consistent, while the national and individual benefits are developed with relevant reasoning and examples.

Next step

Qualify the less certain economic-investment claim or explain its causal link more fully to make every supporting point equally convincing.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

The argument progresses clearly from societal to individual benefits, but the single long body paragraph contains several distinct stages.

Next step

Separate the national and individual dimensions into focused paragraphs and use referencing to connect their implications.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

The response demonstrates a broad vocabulary, although recurring awkward collocations reduce precision and naturalness.

Next step

Replace expressions such as 'put into two aspects,' 'speak up their opinion,' and 'worth-living' with idiomatic alternatives.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0
Scoring rule

Complex structures are used frequently and meaning remains clear, despite several errors in agreement, articles, and verb forms.

Next step

Proofread clause-level agreement and verb patterns, particularly constructions such as 'something ... negatively affects their lives'.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Is freedom of speech necessary in a free society?

Your response

Words0
40:00

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