Is freedom of speech necessary in a free society?
Sample Response
Freedom of speech is very important for a citizen to upgrade himself and society. Freedom is a key point to initiate development and bring people closer, start networking and move forward for a mission like the mission of change, the mission of independence etc. Freedom of speaking is necessary for anyone either he is 2 years old kid or 60 years old man. It gives people courage to communicate to make decisions and work on that. For Example Politician: they speak in public places to make the commitments and plans to develop the country. The audiences listen to them patiently, analyse their words and gives approval in the form of votes to win, so that he can get a chance to work on his promises and commitments. Furthermore, freedom is a fragrance of beautiful society. It makes you extrovert and nourishes you to achieve defined goal. Whereas this privileged is only limited to politicians these days. Those who are not politicians and if they speak something true about someone, they can be killed or murdered, if the opponent party is stronger than them. It also limits anyone to take decisions and forces you to think 100 times before speaking in a public place. Hence we become slaves in our own country. Therefore, I truly believe that citizen should have freedom to speak in favour or against of anyone. Facing the problems and keeping quite can bring disaster and put us in soup. Instead of giving up the problems we need to become unite and work together. Likewise, makes the hay when the sun shines.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong verb Original: upgrade himself and society Suggested revision: develop as an individual and improve society Why it matters: Upgrade is not natural for personal or social development.
- 2. Preposition Original: move forward for a mission Suggested revision: work towards a goal Why it matters: This is the natural verb-preposition combination.
- 3. Fixed term Original: Freedom of speaking Suggested revision: Freedom of speech Why it matters: Use the established concept named in the task.
- 4. Correlative form Original: either he is 2 years old kid or 60 years old man Suggested revision: whether a person is a two-year-old child or a sixty-year-old adult Why it matters: Whether...or and articles are required.
- 5. Malformed example Original: For Example Politician Suggested revision: For example, politicians Why it matters: Use a comma and a plural noun to introduce the example.
- 6. General noun Original: The audiences Suggested revision: Voters Why it matters: Voters is more precise and does not need an article for a general statement.
- 7. Agreement Original: gives approval Suggested revision: give their approval Why it matters: The plural subject requires give.
- 8. Unclear metaphor Original: freedom is a fragrance Suggested revision: free expression is a foundation Why it matters: The revised metaphor supports a logical argument.
- 9. Word form Original: this privileged Suggested revision: this privilege Why it matters: Privilege is the noun required after this.
- 10. Redundancy Original: killed or murdered Suggested revision: attacked or killed Why it matters: Killed and murdered duplicate the same result.
- 11. Natural phrase Original: opponent party Suggested revision: opposing group Why it matters: Opponent party is not idiomatic here.
- 12. Plural noun Original: citizen should have Suggested revision: citizens should have Why it matters: The general statement needs a plural subject.
Suggested Rewrites
- upgrade himself and society develop as an individual and improve society
- move forward for a mission work towards a goal
- Freedom of speaking Freedom of speech
- either he is 2 years old kid or 60 years old man whether a person is a two-year-old child or a sixty-year-old adult
- For Example Politician For example, politicians
- The audiences Voters
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear belief that freedom of speech is necessary and offers relevant ideas about political accountability, participation and the risks of repression. Nevertheless, development is uneven, examples are difficult to follow, and frequent errors in grammar, word choice and sentence construction reduce authority. Organise the argument into focused paragraphs and explain how protected speech benefits society while acknowledging reasonable limits.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A relevant position is clear and several supporting ideas are offered, but they are only partly developed and the absence of limits or counter-considerations narrows the discussion.
Explain two distinct benefits in depth and briefly distinguish free speech from threats, defamation or incitement.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a general line of argument, but the single paragraph, abrupt example and unclear linking weaken progression.
Use an introduction, two developed body paragraphs and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for the topic, but inaccurate word forms, metaphors and idioms are common.
Prefer precise terms such as civic participation, public accountability, dissent, repression and legal protection.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in articles, agreement, pronouns and clause formation cause strain, although the main meaning is usually recoverable.
Write shorter complete sentences and check subject-verb agreement and singular-plural consistency.